Lead Boldly While Living Fully with Management Consultant Darla Bonk | 6
Darla Bonk: [00:00:00] If I don't make a jump like this now, I may regret it and I do not wanna go through my life wondering what if. I'd rather say, you know what? I tried it and it didn't work out. But not knowing what if would be probably a harder pill for me to swallow than even failure.
Julie Cober: Imagine if you were invited to a room filled with a collection of the most diverse, interesting, authentic women in business leadership and entrepreneurship today. Sharing their stories of growth, courage, risk, and change. Women who've declared enough is enough. These rules of success I've been asked to follow no longer work for me and frankly, who made them up anyway.
Well, there is such a room and my friend, you're here in it right now. Welcome to “According To Who?” the go-to podcast for successful women who are ready to question the current status quo, do things differently and rewrite her next chapter.
I'm your host, Julie [00:01:00] Cober, former C-Suite corporate executive turned founder, CEO and peak performance mindset coach to the female founder on a mission to build, grow, and scale on her own terms. If you're craving more freedom, wellbeing, and true fulfillment both in your work and your life, guess what? You're going to love being in this room.
Julie Cober: Hello. Hello everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm so excited. For today's conversation, what I call our fireside chat with one of the most amazing humans I know. Darla Bonk. So welcome Darla.
Darla Bonk: Thank you so much for having me.
Julie Cober: Yes. I'm so excited when you said yes to this. Darla and I met a little while ago, probably a couple years ago in a mastermind we were both in and you know, one of the things when I was reflecting on, you know, where we met and, and all the things.
Part of this mastermind, we, uh, an output of it or we were put into groups [00:02:00] of accountability partners. So we had a group of three. And I think that can be a really hard task for the person running a mastermind when you're just getting to know these people and all the things. And so Darla and myself and another woman that we know who's gonna be on the podcast too, we're paired together.
And I remember thinking, oh. They just hit this out of the park like we are carbon copies of each other. Yeah. We have so much, uh, in common, so much in our background. So I just think she nailed it. So I felt very grateful for that. And when I have a business challenge or I have a strategy challenge, or I have even a life challenge, Darla's the first person I think of.
Especially on the business and strategy 'cause we're in a mastermind or accountability group together. So that's what you're gonna hear from her. She's just so creative in her thinking, bold in her thinking, and always just comes back with such. Like ideas I never even thought of. So welcome, welcome, welcome.
The formal part of our podcasting. I'm gonna read your [00:03:00] bio, so I, I literally read it. Okay. So that, uh, and then we'll jump into the juicy questions. Awesome. Okay. So here is her bio. So Darla was born and raised in the vibrant community of Fort Myers, Florida. One of my, one of my homes away from home as well.
Darla bunk story is one of faith. Resilience and an unwavering drive to create impact as the daughter of a pastor Darla grew up immersed in a life of service, love, and deep connection to her faith values that continue to shape her journey today. Darla's academic path began with a vocal scholarship at Lee University.
I didn't know that. That was super interesting where she earned her BA in communication with a minor in history and Bible. These years, Le laid the foundation for her unique ability to connect with people and communicate authentically. And I think that's why I was also so attracted to to Darla when we first met.
Like her communication skills are so, so strong. From leading [00:04:00] Fortune 200 sales teams to serving as an executive director of the American Cancer Society in Lee County, Darla's professional experience has been anything but ordinary alongside her husband. She co-founded Architectural Metal Flashings, a multi seven figure manufacturing company in southwest Florida that they built from the ground up.
In less than five years together, they've created not just a thriving business, but also a workplace culture grounded in empowerment, restoration, and faith, which is so beautiful. Like you don't hear the word restoration very often, which I thought, wow, that's, that's really powerful. In addition to her business ventures, Darla is the founder and host of On Your Way Podcast, where she inspires listeners to build and live lives they love, and Darla's life is not.
Been without challenge. From navigating early motherhood under difficult circumstances to overcoming professional setbacks, she has drawn strength from her faith and her family. These experience have deepened her empathy and passion for [00:05:00] helping others. Overcoming adversity, believing every person is capable of transformation with the right support and mindset.
And the heart of all of Darla's story is her ball out method, which I'm gonna ask her about today. So through her unwavering commitment to faith and family and service, Darla exemplifies what it means to lead with purpose. So welcome, welcome, welcome. There's more you can read on our website.
Darla Bonk: There's a mouthful.
Julie Cober: Yeah. Welcome Darla. So much. Okay, so what we always start here and according to who, um, I always love to give a little bit of a backstory for our listeners and whoever's watching us. So can you, you have had like such an interesting career when I actually research for this and went deeper into what I know about Darla.
You know, I didn't know about the not-for-profit. I worked for the Canadian Red Cross. I was the CHRO. She was at the American. I'm like, what? I didn't know that. How did I not know this? Anyway, so profit not-for-profit partnership with her husband. Can [00:06:00] you give us an overview, like up to the business with your husband?
I'd love just a little quick backstory of your career today, just to give everyone a picture.
Darla Bonk: Yeah. So thank you so much for having me. Yeah, I, I started in corporate America directly out of college, so I was working at a corporate headquarters, uh, was going into sales, was thrown into a brand new, um, kind of sub-organization within the corporation where myself and two other leaders were asked to create this, um, organization whereby we were helping insurance agents.
Learn how to sell ancillary lines of coverage 'cause we were a disability and a long-term care insurer at that time. And we were teaching 'em to sell something besides just fire, life and auto right. And so I was traveling the whole eastern seaboard and teaching these, at that point in time, American Express Advisors and New York Life Advisors, how to sell these ancillary lines of coverage.
And from there got to really learn what it's like to be, you know, boots on the street and really. [00:07:00] Have client interactions and end user experiences, what it's like to, you know, take something from a headquarters and actually make it be tangible and consumable, you know, to that end user. And, um, then went through, uh, kind of a life drama and relocate it.
'cause I thought I'd work at that company forever. I loved that company.
Julie Cober: Oh. Mm-hmm.
Darla Bonk: And, um, just hit a absolute wall in that period in time in my life, which was 2007. And so I relocated to back to Southwest Florida where I thought I would never live there again. Left at 18, said peace out. Yes. And um, you know, it has a way of calling you back home.
It was what I needed and I didn't know it at the time, but it became a haven for me when I was going through that time with my kids. I had an eight and 5-year-old at that time.
Julie Cober: Mm-hmm. And your family was there, right?
Darla Bonk: Family. Family was there. My parents were there, like, just come home. I had a great, um, community with my church and grew up there, so I knew a lot of people.
And it literally became [00:08:00] the true statement. It took a village to raise my children at that time, and luckily I had access to a village that loved me, my family, and my children. And um, so it took the hiatus and just said, you know what? I'm done with corporate America for a while. I'm done with. You know this, um, which was really hard looking back to think where I was in that head space, to be able to walk away from something that I absolutely loved.
And that's how I went into the nonprofit sector. Okay. I needed to feel good about something.
Julie Cober: Yeah. Like salt to the earth. Right. The people that I remember thinking, all these people that came across my gosh, like is there another better human in the world? Like the stuff they do. Right.
Darla Bonk: It's, it's crazy how much they do for things and from research for cancer treatments.
To helping people who are going through it, to caregivers, to providing wigs to be, I mean, it just was getting a front row experience of what all sides of cancer are like for people.
Julie Cober: Oh. They're like angels without wings. I call them anyone that's on the [00:09:00] front line of a not-for-profit.
Darla Bonk: Yep. And so I got to be that, uh, executive director for five years.
But in the course of that. The recession hit in 2008 and 2009. Right. So I had to get really resourceful really quickly, which I think maybe is where some of that creativity of like, you gotta just pick yourself up. Let's figure this out. 'cause we still have money to raise and cancer didn't care about our recession.
Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so that. Really gave me a phenomenal lesson of coordinating teams and volunteers and rallying people around a cause or a why or a purpose, which I would later realize is one of the, you know, heartbeats of what I do today. And, um, so I was doing that. And then in 2013 they did a whole reconstruction.
And, um, so I just said, you know, I, I've been through these things before, see the writing on the wall. So I left that and started doing some consulting at that point in time. And did a little bit of coaching, but then in 2015, went to work [00:10:00] for a FinTech financial technology company, was selling software to, uh, various companies like Google and Nestle.
And um, that's cool. So that's kinda like sexy going from not, it was very sexy. It was very sexy, you know, got to be, you know, cool kid and travel on the corporate jet to places and all. I was like, this is not reality, but I am here for it, you know, I'm gonna take it as long as I can. I'll be as long as I can.
Yeah. And um, so about that time, uh, my now husband and I were reconnecting. We had grown up together and, um, reconnected. He had gone through a similar situation of divorce and being a single parent and. He had this incredible idea that he felt like he was supposed to do. So he came back from the Seattle area to start and um, he's like, why don't you start this with me?
Let's do this. He knew the production, construction, roofing side of everything, and I knew operations, finance, you know, sales almost so. We created, um, our company, architectural Metal Flashings together. And, [00:11:00] um, we had a lot of early success quickly that we weren't prepared for.
Julie Cober: Mm-hmm.
Darla Bonk: And then people started kind of asking us how we did it. And um, so that was back in 2015. And so that gets us up to, uh, the company with my husband and me.
Julie Cober: Okay, so this is where, yeah, this was so interesting to me. So I went on the website, I re I'm like, wow, like this is so different, right? I mean, business is business, but like metal flashing for the roofing industry flashing even was when I, right.
I'm like, what I, to be honest, and my husband's has a contracting business, right? I should know what metal flashing is, but I didn't, so anyway. But it just got me thinking too, when I was looking at your website, I'm like, business is business, like it's a product. Mm-hmm. And the roofing, the industry needs it like a product that goes to it.
So she would use all her basic business skills, but So you've now, you're, you're now co-founding a manufacturing business from the ground up. Mm-hmm. Right? [00:12:00] That you've built up to I think, I believe. I know. What the website said, but I think you even dabbled up to the eight figures close in less than five years, correct?
Yes. So I have two questions. When I thought of this, I'm like, oh, this is so interesting. So when did you decide, like you kind of touched on it there, but like. When did you decide, okay, I'm leaving corporate and now I'm gonna start this manufacturing business, this manufacturing metal roofing supplies company, right.
Nothing like I've ever done before. Like was there an aha moment or was it kind of like a gradual thing, or?
Darla Bonk: It's a good question. So it, it was definitely an aha moment gradually, so.
Julie Cober: Okay. That's often the answer.
Darla Bonk: Right? So when I first started at the company. The managing partner there that I was working for directly at the time was asking me, I had moved into kind of a entry role at that time, moving back into [00:13:00] corporate and then eventually moved over into the sales side.
And so he was asking me, you know, so where do you wanna be in five years? You know, kind of a typical question. It was a smaller company, it was about 80 of us, and I thought it was a fantastic answer. If somebody said that to me, I would be like, come alongside me, let me mentor you immediately. But he asked me where I wanted to be in five years and I said, I wanna be sitting in your seat.
Julie Cober: Oh yeah, that is good. I love when they say that he did. Right, right.
Darla Bonk: And that was not the answer he wanted to hear. Oh. So that was about maybe eight months into my role. And, um, things just were never the same for me. Oh. He felt threatened. Maybe. I don't know if it was that I'm not him, but I just. Thought, why would you not love that answer?
Why would you? Yeah. A go-get from that point on began to absolutely micromanage me and not in a positive way, and so I could just see everything I was doing. Incredibly scrutinized. More so than the next guy, you [00:14:00] know? And um, my husband had started talking to me about things at that point. He was starting to write out the business plan and we were kind of, you know, mind mapping through things and have you thought about this and have you thought about that?
And I think it just organically happened where it was just like, why don't you just come over here and let's just figure this out. We weren't married at the time. We really had just kinda started dating. That was May of
Julie Cober: Oh, that's interesting.
Darla Bonk: Yeah. That was May of 2015. He created the business through the state of Florida, and by August or September of 2015, I was then working with him.
Wow. Okay. And so we didn't really have the first client until January of 2016. And, um. I think I officially left my old company in October of 2015 or something like that. And so it was, okay, he knows all this stuff about the construction and the production piece of this. Okay, but what's the system by which we're gonna do that?
How are we gonna let people know we're available? And so it [00:15:00] was an aha moment, but it was one of those things where. You know what if I don't make a jump like this now I may regret it and I do not wanna go through my life wondering what if. I'd rather say, you know what? I tried it and it didn't work out, but not knowing what if would be probably a harder pill for me to swallow than even failure.
Yeah. So that is when I knew, okay, it is time to make a jump.
Julie Cober: So you, I love this. Okay, because I wanna stop here for a second. So you used your intuition mm-hmm. Is what I'm hearing. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. You weren't even married yet. Like, you know, just like, and you're in business with this person, or you've gone to work from, and what you said there is so profound.
I'm gonna share a book around this, so if you haven't read it, or if anyone who's listening, this just reminded me. I was actually talking about this book this morning with my clients, but this book changed my life. So my story too, right? Wanting to leave corporate for 14 years, trying some things back for start, stop all the things until I picked up the book.
I think I actually have it [00:16:00] here. I do actually, I'm gonna show it for anyone who's watching, it's called The Five Regrets of the Dying. Ooh. And so this is a woman who, her name is Bronnie Ware. She's, I believe Australian. And she was, um, not a, not, um, she was like a palliative care worker. Mm-hmm. So she was hired by very wealthy families in Australia to come and sit with their loved ones as they were dying.
And she did this for several years and she created a blog and people who wrote her, read her blog, begged her to write a book. And so she did. Wow. And she calls it the Five Regrets. So every single person, these are fairly wealthy people, she was with, I'll read the the top five just so you have it. 'cause this is exactly what Darla's saying.
This is why she made this decision. So the number one regret is I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Hmm. That was me. 30 years in corporate, not loving what I'm doing. Regret number two, I wish I hadn't worked so hard, which is we're gonna hear more of Darla's story here.
Like this is [00:17:00] like regret number three. I wish I had, I had the courage to express my feelings. Hmm. Or was I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends. And five was, I wish I had let myself be happier. Ooh, those are good. Such a powerful book. And exactly what Darla's talking about, like. Okay. Maybe it's gonna fail.
Maybe it's not gonna be for me. Maybe I don't love roofing, but I can, you clearly had proven to this point you could get another job if you had to.
Darla Bonk: Yeah, absolutely. Going from a, you know, corporate jet to manufacturing with people, getting their hands dirty and working with machines was nothing I thought I would be doing.
Julie Cober: Yeah, yeah. I get that. It's not, it's really hard to go back to commercial flights when you've flown corporate, but or on a corporate jet. So the other question I had to ask was, 'cause now you're fast forward, you're 10 years right into this business. How has it been working with your husband? Right, because now he's your husband.
Yes. So you've gotten married. I mean, it's not, [00:18:00] it's not for the faint of heart and it's, I don't think it's for everyone to work with their spouse. Like how do you navigate this successful multiple seven, eight figure business that you two have built in less than five years, which that alone is a beast.
Yeah. Get married and now you know, and be and be business partners and. Spouses.
Darla Bonk: Yeah. So to, to answer that, lemme give you a little bit of background on that. So we started dating in September of 2015. Officially, we had been talking about officially in 2015. We got engaged in spring of 2016, and then we got married a whole year later.
Julie Cober: Hmm.
Darla Bonk: So being older and being engaged for a whole year had its challenges. But by the time we got married, we had started, the company merged four high school, junior high kids, three dogs, and started the business. Wow. So like all we were missing was the partridge in a pear tree. You know what I mean? Sure.
Julie Cober: That sounds like that's a lot.
Darla Bonk: What else can we pile on? You know, so I say that though because. [00:19:00] Seeing all the different facets of what we were doing. Not just the business, but merging a family because we refused to have step kids. We had told the kids we, you know, are not trying to dismiss the other parent.
Right. But for us in this household, we will now have four kids. He had two and I had two. Mm-hmm. Now we have four children. Nice. And if that's an issue, you guys need to let us know right now because this is how we're operating moving forward. I say that to say we set the tone in every aspect of our lives, kind of like our system.
Here's our operating manual, here's how we're going to make decisions, here's what we're going to do. You know? And so one of the things that we said was. You know, we had both been previously married and those both had betrayal in them, and we want to make sure that doesn't happen again. And so we said from the onset we will have a date night every single week.
Oh, it's without fail. It is not up for negotiation. It doesn't matter. Oh, well we didn't [00:20:00] have time or we're to. Suck it up buttercup. Like we're
Julie Cober: Yeah, we're going. We're going on a date. Put on your track pants. We're going.
Darla Bonk: Yeah. And we always wanted to make sure we were dating our spouse.
Julie Cober: Oh my gosh. I love that.
Darla Bonk: And part of that on date nights too, was again, setting the expectation that when we are on the date, we do not talk about work. We are together 24 hours a day, find another hour in the day to talk about the work. Right. And if we do want to talk about work. It is always a question. Can I talk about work for a minute?
Can we mention, oh, okay. This for a minute. So again, it is setting the expectation. Here's our system, here's our operating manual in our life. Mm-hmm. Not just in the business. Mm-hmm. So that if they obviously intertwine and overlap, we had a roadmap by which we knew we were going to navigate through those times.
Mm-hmm. And so, you know, there's things where we absolutely. Vehemently disagree on how to [00:21:00] handle things from a work perspective. So when we come to an impasse, and it was even in our contracts together, okay? When we get to an impasse, when it comes to this topic. You're the pro at this? I'm the pro at that.
So if we're at an impasse, this person gets to make the decision.
Julie Cober: Mm.
Darla Bonk: We know with our kids we have four kids, but if we get to an impasse to how to handle it, the bio parent. Yeah. Making that final decision. So we had a roadmap before the situations took place.
Julie Cober: That's amazing.
Darla Bonk: That's in those moments of frustration or disagreement. We knew objectively how we were gonna, you know, uh, resolve those issues. So in terms of working together, we absolutely loved it. I miss it a lot. Mm-hmm. Now in my new role. But it was, it was great for us to get together early and often in everything. 'cause we were together 24 7 and you had to figure it out.
You had to learn how to communicate. You had to learn, you know exactly what that expectation was. You had to read the [00:22:00] signals when, Hey, I'm gonna need a minute. And know how to be clear and concise in that communication, not take your feelings into all the consideration all the time, and be able to separate, you know, the work and the play.
And it's not about work-life harmony for us, or work-life balance for us. It is truly about worklife harmony.
Julie Cober: Yeah. And what
Darla Bonk: does that look like and what can that look like? And some days it is work heavy and business heavy. Yeah. There is no life harmony. It's work harmony. Yeah. Right. You're trying to start a business.
I mean we, we had $5 million loans that we took out with a five year note. And we didn't have the first client, but we thought, oh, we can do this. The business plan looks great. You know? And, um, people thought we were crazy for taking, of course they did. They're taking a risk. Yeah. And here we are now, 10 years later, debt free.
So something worked along the way. Right. And so we just learned communication and we had a system early on that we were gonna stick to and agree [00:23:00] upon. Yeah. So that we weren't trying to figure out a way how to navigate through when we were both frustrated and irritated and an employee didn't show up, or we lost a client, which we have done.
All of those things. We had something beforehand that helped, and so that's then spilled over into our businesses.
Julie Cober: Oh my gosh, that's so good. The two big things that I hear from that, that I will even take away is, whoa, Darla just said it. You both believed that you could do this. Mm-hmm. In the beginning, there was a belief there, right?
That you could figure this out as a business, you could stand this thing up, you could make it profitable. But you could also do that as a couple. So there was a big belief there. And then when, when you have that belief, then I heard from you throughout is intention. You set some, it is very, very specific intentions of how this is gonna work.
How, what we're gonna, what are our standards? What, what are the non-negotiables? Like the date night like? Yeah. I mean, I live vicariously through Darla. She's always on. Weekend getaway to Boston or whatever, her [00:24:00] husband. Right. I'm like, I say to my husband, God, they look so in love. They're always out doing fun things, but that's clearly as she's just told us, very, very intentional.
Right, right. And yeah, like I can't imagine. And I've worked in large corporations where there's, people have met and got married, so the spouses are in, in the corporation together and you know, I've had to manage this. But yeah, the ones that have succeeded have had very much, like you said, a plan, a strategy.
And they probably approached it the same way they would Yeah. Either their department or the business or whatever. So, so now you're, now you're, you've decided at some point, which if you wanna share, we'd love to know. Okay. I, I've helped with this and, and we've got it to here. Now I'm gonna go, this is when Darla and I met.
Yeah. We were sitting on a bus with her gonna, somewhere in our mastermind, we were doing some race in wherever Texas, and she was telling me about this coaching and this [00:25:00] consulting business and she's gone out on her own now and this now, now she's a solo entrepreneur, not just a co-founder. So what made you wanna start that path and you know, kind of moving away from the co co-owner to full owner and full out entrepreneur.
I mean, you obviously were, but it's a different, when you're a co-owner.
Darla Bonk: It is different. Absolutely. One of the biggest things for me is, you mentioned it before, is you're, you're listening to yourself and you're following intuition, right?
Julie Cober: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Darla Bonk: And a lot of times we stuff that down and just say, oh, is that something?
Oh, no. Maybe that's just a fun idea to think about. You know? And for me, I've recognized for a very, very long time, I am a builder. I am not. A maintainer. I am. Oh, okay. That's not me. And I have done a lot of time sitting with this and equated back even to the top of the conversation of when I was asked to build a new organization within the corporation and how fun and exciting that was, and how incredibly difficult that is for a lot of people.
Mm-hmm. [00:26:00] And for me, that is like, you know. Joy,
Julie Cober: soul food.
Darla Bonk: It is joy. Yes. I love having to figure things out. I like solving problems and I love research. I love, um, navigating through new territory. I'm always an earlier adopter of technology. Um, sorry folks. I'm an AI fiend. I love it. I'm all about it.
Julie Cober: She's probably so far ahead of us all.
Darla Bonk: I, I just love it, you know. Because it may not work, but again, what if? Yeah. And that didn't have to be that person. So I think even my husband, before even we started having the conversation was sensing just some, I don't even wanna say frustration, just kind of irritability. I wasn't as patient about conversations.
I wasn't as. Even interested in some of the things, and he probably realized it before I did, that there was something stirring in my belly that I didn't even realize was [00:27:00] one of the things when we were early days in the business and starting to get some traction, starting to then get some notoriety regionally and people were.
Looking at us and we were getting kind of in the publishings and all the Yes. New manufacture. 'cause manufacturing in Florida is not some, you know, something that just rolls off the tongue, right? Right. It's tourism, it's hospitality, it's resorts, it's right. All of that oranges. So people, companies started asking us how we were doing things.
And so we were doing some, you know, old school, corporate, let's do some lunch and learns, you know? Mm-hmm. And things like that. It's like the, it's the OG marketing, it's the OG marketing. Right. And I found, I really loved that. 'cause he's, you know, you go, you go talk to them, you go figure things out. And it boiled down to people not believing in themselves and people afraid of what people would think.
And how do I, this is all I've ever known. What if I, you know, and I'm like, yeah, gosh, you can do anything. You put mind, didn't the. Company [00:28:00] vertical or the industry, it really came down to what we as humans believe we can achieve or what we can't. You know, like I love your, your title of your podcast according to who?
Julie Cober: Yeah. Who says?
Darla Bonk: Who says, and who says only matters if we let them. Right. You know, and so I just really had to be open and honest with him. I was like, I know this is our baby and this was your dream and I wanna help you make your dream. And he immediately is like. It's time to go make yours.
Julie Cober: Hmm.
Darla Bonk: And it was like, oh, it was just this big relief because we so loved and each other as husband and wife, but we just truly respect and care about each other as people and as individuals.
And yes, you're married and yes, you're a husband and a wife, or a mother or a father, but also you're still a human being that has goals and desires. That can often be separate from your spouse, but also related and integrated with your spouse. It doesn't have to be an either or. It's an and. Yeah. And we were able to really talk through and [00:29:00] navigate what does that need to look like?
So for that whole next year, I spent a lot of time, um, right up until the time we were meeting, uh, figuring out what could that look like, should that look like.
Julie Cober: Mm-hmm.
Darla Bonk: Who would benefit from what I, what I could do, what do I even specialize in? Mm-hmm. How can I specialize in that? And really figuring out, okay, how do I begin to exit?
From our family business and how can I make this easy for my husband? It wasn't just about me. It was, okay, if we're gonna do this, we still do all of this together. Mm-hmm. How do we do this together? So I spent that whole year kind of, you know, training people who could replace me, rewriting all of our SOPs, making sure, sure.
Our ERP system was easy to understand for whoever would come in next if they hadn't been along in that whole journey for us. You know, helping my husband with really what he would need. Okay. You're gonna now have to bring on. A number two person to you, you know? Mm-hmm. Because right now it's been you and me.
Now you're gonna have to do some succession planning on your side of [00:30:00] this and what does that look like? And so we really started consulting and coaching each other. Wow. And learning those lessons. And so I think a lot of people overcomplicate coaching and consulting when it really is a lot of just trial and error and figuring it out and find something that works, that resonates and your clients relate to that.
And off you go. And so then fully launched in 2022 or 23, whatever it was, um, the Darla Bonk Consulting and walked away and had my first five or six clients within the first 90 days of taking that launch. But you know, you can't ask people to believe in you if you don't.
Julie Cober: Yeah. And what I can see from you, I can see the, the breadcrumbs.
Darla Bonk: Yeah, absolutely.
Julie Cober: You know, you look back, Bob Proctor always just say that you're gonna look back and you're gonna have to look through a telescope to see, but the, or Steve Jobs talked about the breadcrumbs, like absolutely. You were literally consulting your husband on how you were gonna exit the company.
Mm-hmm. Right? And, and this is how we need to do it. And getting in your mode and putting in processes like talk about even setup [00:31:00] for a potential. Who knows what your plans are. Right? But you know, a lot of people build up to 8, 9, 10 figures and then they sell. Right. You have all these SOPs and all that process alone probably would've helped that, right?
Darla Bonk: Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, figuring out, um, you know, now one of the main things that I do in my consulting is succession planning and, and mergers and acquisition strategy. And it's like I literally just did this, you know? Yes. So it wasn't like I am. Saying I'm an expert in something I'm not an expert in.
It's, it's, this was my life, this was my reality, and I'm just turning around and helping the next guy.
Julie Cober: Yeah. That's amazing. So let's switch gears a smidge. So I, I know that I'm, I'm pretty certain, just even from what I know of you and all of your information out there in the, the world, I believe so strongly, it was probably one of the main reasons why I actually even started this podcast was I believe to my core that every single human being on this planet.
Their birthright is to have an extraordinary life. To let, let have a [00:32:00] life they love living and have that supported by work that fulfills them, not consumes them. Yeah. Right. I, I think you and I agree on that. Yeah. So I would love to dig into a couple of things around that, that you've, you have integrated throughout your whole life.
You've shared a bit, but can you talk to us first about your tagline? Lead boldly, live fully like that. I'm like, oh man, that's a good tagline. Like, where did that come from? Like, give me the heart of that.
Darla Bonk: Well, I think I reversed engineered it. It took me a long time to even think about living fully. I existed for a very long time.
There wasn't thriving. It was just surviving one day to the next. And you know, as I started kind of getting one day away further from. All the junk and drama that had happened in my life, it was like, okay, so now you've, you've become a survivor of X, Y, [00:33:00] Z. Now what do you wanna do about it? Now you get to choose how you live your life.
You get to choose, you know, and I really just kept hearing no one is living your life, but you. Wow. So you have the power to create whatever life you want. And you know, I had always been told I was a good leader and mentor. I'd had great retention rates with my staff in corporate world, even into the American Cancer Society and with my husband.
I mean, people loved working with us. Mm-hmm. You know, and it was always a team effort. Mm-hmm. You know, you never do anything alone. And so it was okay. What does this really look like? And of course I grew up playing sports. Um, both my kids went to college on sports scholarships and so the whole ball out thing of build and live a life you love was really thinking about, um, sure.
You know, something that would resonate with people and then like, okay, what does that mean? Who is this person? But really figuring out how do I set this consulting business up in a way that will allow [00:34:00] me to build and live a life I love? Because it isn't just about money, it isn't just about a quality of life.
It isn't just about feeling comfortable and loving the life that you're in. It's all of those things wrapped in together. Mm-hmm. And one of the things, again, my husband and I sat down and did when we first got married was, okay, what are our three priorities as a couple? What are our three priorities? We did it for our business.
We did it for our marriage, we did it with our children, and every year we go and do our whole plan as a couple. What is our three year plan? What's our five year plan? What's our 10 year plan? You do it for your business. You do it in your work. Yeah.
Julie Cober: Why not for your family?
Darla Bonk: Why would you not do it for your family?
Julie Cober: Right. Right. It works over there. Why wouldn't it work over here?
Darla Bonk: Yep. And so the very first thing I thought of when I was setting up the business was I never wanna work a Friday ever again.
Julie Cober: Okay,
Darla Bonk: sure. Let's put that on the board. Okay. Yeah. What else? Freedom Friday.
Julie Cober: She calls it Freedom Friday. Yeah, freedom Friday.
So, um, why else would you go into business for yourself if you didn't take [00:35:00] Fridays off? Right,
Darla Bonk: right. The other thing I thought was, you know, I am so used to working ridiculous hours. Mm-hmm. In corporate, you know, in the nonprofit you have all these events and night events, you have to, like, I was working 90 hours a week.
I mean, my parents were raising my children essentially for a long time. Then we started the business. We were working 15, 16 hour days. We had junior high and high schoolers home. Like they kind of made us, you know? Yeah. So it was, I'm not gonna start something again that I have to hate showing up for, hate having to be a part of.
So I built a business model financially and time-wise, where I only have to work at a 75% capacity of my life. Okay? If you're gonna have a Freedom Friday. What does your business modeling need to look like? Yes. So you can have freedom. Like, that's a great idea, but how are you gonna, whatcha doing on from Monday to Thursday?
Right? Because I mean, you do have to make the numbers work. I mean, I'm not immune to that. And, and I did have another business that allowed for a lot of that, but my first goal was, okay, in this first year, I wanna [00:36:00] replace what I was paying myself in that business.
Julie Cober: Mm-hmm.
Darla Bonk: Check box, right? Then now what's the next thing?
What's the next thing? What's so it wasn't. I wanna get up to seven figures or eight figures or whatever it was. What's the next thing I want to be able to accomplish? Right? Okay. We wanna be able to go on vacation and have our weekends away. What, what does that kind of a budget look like? You know, we tend to be travel snobs.
What do we need to have that look like if we're gonna do this?
Julie Cober: Yeah.
Darla Bonk: And so we really kind of put these goals together and, um, so the whole lead boldly and live fully really came with. I can't be a great consultant and I can't be a great advisor to you if I don't have a kind of life, business and personal that I can be proud of and say, here's what I'm doing.
And so I really had to check myself a lot time. Mm-hmm. And say, okay, this doesn't resonate with who you are. This doesn't resonate with that or this. And so those three priorities. Have kept us in line to be able [00:37:00] to lead bold boldly and live fully. And so people will ask us to do different things or ask me to be a part of something, and I have to just kind of go look at those priorities.
And if it doesn't align, I may feel really badly about it, but the answer is very simple. I am sorry. I'm not available for that.
Julie Cober: Yeah. Or yeah, exactly right.
Darla Bonk: Endeavors. Right. Because you know, and I don't owe you an explanation why I'm not available. No. 'cause adults inform and children explain.
Julie Cober: Exactly. My daughter always said to me, mom, you know, no’s a full sentence. Right? Absolutely.
Darla Bonk: Absolutely. Because it's not a bad thing. I'm the only one living my life. Yes. And so if I can't be okay, if I'm okay with my choices, mm-hmm. What you think about my choices, or who I am or how I'm living my life are simply none of my business. Mm-hmm.
Julie Cober: Exactly. That's right. It's none of your business.
And, and what I'm hearing again, which I love, which I think is so important, is what Darla's been talking about through this whole conversation is standards. Yeah. And not only standards, she's taking time [00:38:00] on the front end to figure out what they are. So those are the three priorities. This is how we're gonna manage our bi, our marriage, and the bit, all the things she said.
These are standards, these are the non-negotiables. But you don't just like throw them at a wall, right. You actually sit down and think about this. Like to your point, okay, this is what I would like in revenue in my business in the first year, which is replacing my income. Okay. That's a number. You back out from there.
Right? But she's not deviating from them. So not only am I hearing, you know, yeah. That would be like really, really good and helpful guidance for consulting and coaching clients, but that's likely giving you a whole new level of energy. To be able to consult and to coach.
Darla Bonk: Absolutely.
Julie Cober: That takes a lot of energy.
Darla Bonk: It does. And it's, but it's exciting, right? Because you, you know, I'll be 50 next year and it's getting to a place where, just like your book, you know, the book that you referenced, [00:39:00] Five Regrets of the Dying, it's like I've been around and exposed to enough things that if I don't take those lessons and actually learn them and then apply them because.
Anal retentive me, knowledge is not power. Applied knowledge, yeah. Is power. You embody it. And so I have no problem saying, you know, I made a lot of mistakes back then, or I made a lot of mistakes here and there. I made a so many mistakes with my children. So many mistakes. Right? And, but we've talked about them now they're, they're not things that are regrettable.
They're things where I am so glad that experience happened because now I can learn, I've now allowed myself to see that situation. In a different way. I don't have to feel guilt or shame. Yeah. Over situations of my past, I can sit there and say, you know what? I'm so glad that happened. 'cause here's what all the things that I now know Yeah.
That I can turn around and help teach somebody else, hopefully so they don't have to experience it. Yeah. But if they do, there's always a path through and there's always another day. And the sun is gonna come out tomorrow and you get a chance to [00:40:00] wipe the slate clean and start over every single day.
Julie Cober: That reminds me.
I just saw a little clip with all the big noise around, um, whether, you know, who cares about anyone, what they think, but Stephen Colbert. Right. So Anderson Cooper was, uh, interviewing him and, hi, I didn't know this, but his father and both brothers I think died in a plane crash when he was 12. Oh, wow. And so Anderson was asking him about this 'cause he has this philosophy similar to what you just said, you can't.
If you're going to be grateful for your life, you have to be grateful for all of it. Absolutely. And that's what he meant. Like, did I want that to happen? No, of course not. Do I want that back? Yes. But I have found gratitude and, and basically what he said was, I'm grateful I'm alive. I'm grateful that I wasn't in that plane.
Those types of things. I didn't want that to happen to them. But that's kind of what you're saying, like you can't. We all have stuff. Life is gonna life, right? Yep. And you, if you're gonna be grateful for your life, you have to kind of be grateful for it all. So then what? Where can you find [00:41:00] gratitude in the darker days?
Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes it's not until we come outta them and we can look back, but that's okay.
Darla Bonk: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I can recall days where, you know, I looked back and felt, you know, just horrible over the. My words basking in victim hood.
Julie Cober: Yeah. '
Darla Bonk: cause if I kept being the victim, I didn't have to do any work.
Right. And there were you blame everybody else. There were tangible things happening to me that I was victimized. Like I'm not, I'm not people who are victims, trust me. And I have been there, and I can remember going through therapy at a certain time and place, and the therapist asked me, so what do you wanna do about it?
I'm like, what do you mean you wanna do about it? I just wanna feel that. I not realizing, although it's so simple, then there is action required to change your circumstance. And she said, you know, you may not be responsible for who hurt you, but you get the [00:42:00] opportunity to heal you.
Julie Cober: Yes. What are you gonna do about it?
Darla Bonk: And I just thought. Ugh, I get to take back the driver's seat. Yeah. Yes. That's gonna suck. I can say I made less than better choices. I tell everybody I'm a re a recovering bad decision maker. You know, those types of things. And my person, you learn, but you learn. Mm-hmm. And the more you can sit there and talk about those things and say.
Gosh, man. You know, it is literally, like Oprah said, when you know better, you do better, you do better. Exactly. And if you don't, at some point that becomes your issue, not the person who originally hurt you because it's easy to, you know, mask what's going on by saying, well, somebody else did this to me, somebody.
And that very well may have happened. And also what do you wanna do about it? Right? What you wanna do about, you get the chance to take back control of your life. Mm-hmm. So that's where that whole lead boldly and live fully comes back into play of, I wanna live a full life. I don't wanna live only based off what happened to me 20 something years ago.
Julie Cober: Right. It's a point in time. Right. Based on a decision [00:43:00] you made. We make decisions all day long and then we have choice behind those decisions. Right. Absolutely. And you're right, you can choose to sit in victim hood. And not, that's not being a victim, that's something different. Right. Or, or choose to not move forward.
Choose to, you know, wallow in how it's making you feel. Yep. Or you can choose to do something different. Right. That's basically what your therapist said. Yep. So, I love this. This is a good lead in because you say that every person is capable of transformation with the right support and mindset. Yeah. So how have you incorporated I'm, I'm curious 'cause I, you know me, I totally agree with that, but.
I know your clients, I know who you coach right. And consult for, and I'm wondering are they open to that? Are they like, what are you talking about on this woo woo side of things or?
Darla Bonk: Yeah, it's, it's a great question. I mean, most of my clients reach out because they think there is a specific problem they want solved.
And nine times outta 10, that is merely a symptom. Yeah. [00:44:00] There is a root, right? There's a root cause that happened. That's, here's why your tree isn't growing. You never watered it. You know? Yeah. Like, talk about that. And what I have come to learn is that in working with these clients, especially no secret, most of my clients are men, is what is it gonna cost to fix the problem?
Who do we have to go find, fix it?
Julie Cober: Hmm.
Darla Bonk: And rather than saying Okay, or. You can now be able to solve these problems in your business and work through these, and what could that look like? What would that feel like if you didn't have to put resources to somebody else? It was another tool in your arsenal that you had as a CEO, as a founder, as the board of directors to really solve these problems and be able to mentor even more people yourself that I'll never have access to.
What would that feel like and what could that be?
Julie Cober: Hmm.
Darla Bonk: Um, you know, is preventing you from wanting to kind of dig in and do that work. Interesting. [00:45:00] That's a very interesting approach. Right? Because a lot of them don't wanna have to sit in the discomfort Yeah. Feel, sit in discomfort financially, but they won't sit in discomfort emotionally.
Julie Cober: Hmm.
Darla Bonk: And so being able to kind of ask those questions and really giving them the power to accept that dissonance that's happening. Yeah. In the mind, body, heart, and soul. And then understanding, okay, I'll give you all the tangible application business wise to implement this and make this work, but if you can't really get your mind and heart around this, which is why you founded your company in the first place, why am I here?
Because it makes no difference to me if you solve your problems or if you don't. Right, but it could be the difference between you and your wife being able to spend the last 30 years of your life traveling wherever you want, or having this business be this monkey on your back that you regret you ever started.
That is your choice, and you have to own that choice. And I think there are people who. Want to solve their problems. [00:46:00] People want to make changes. People want to get over their junk.
Julie Cober: Yeah.
Darla Bonk: And this society makes it so much easier to shift that blame to somebody else rather than owning it because again. We live offended these days.
Julie Cober: Oh yeah.
Darla Bonk: We live in a, from a place of offense that's not, mm-hmm. You can't say, and there's assumption that there's going to be offence even if there isn't. Right? Absolutely. Like I can remember telling my kids, again, sorry if I offend anyone, there's not a participation trophy. I, oh yeah. My kids aren't playing on a team where there's participation trophies.
Yeah. And sometimes you, you lost because you didn't show up and do the work outside of what the coach told you. You've gotta show up and do the work. That team did the work. They showed up, they were ready to play. They worked at a team. You guys gotta be better.
Julie Cober: Oh gosh.
Darla Bonk: I, and that doesn't mean you're not capable. You have to choose to want to do better. Yeah. And I think a lot of these business owners. Now have been so [00:47:00] spoonfed that they're back. There's almost like a shift back, a pendulum back swinging of I have the accountability and responsibility to fix this. We all know that. But also there is a joy that comes with, I get to be responsible and accountable for how all of my employees wanna show.
How do my employees think about me? And Monday morning. On Sunday night at 6:00 PM
Julie Cober: Yeah. Yeah. Good point. Good question. 'cause there's the Sunday night dredges, right?
Darla Bonk: Yep. And then one of my other favorite questions I ask them is, okay, we're, we're gonna go and it's hypothetical, okay, we're gonna go in this room.
You've got a staff meeting you're gonna do. When was the last time before you open that door? You stopped and asked yourself, what am I getting ready to do to this room?
Julie Cober: Yeah. Intention again, right?
Darla Bonk: What am I getting ready? Right. What am I getting ready to do to this room? Like as it pertains to what. I mean, 'cause we're so off to the next.
Julie Cober: Yeah,
Darla Bonk: stop. Did you just get off of a call where clients fired you? Have you just had a fight with your wife on the way to the [00:48:00] office? You know, did you just lose a big deal? Like what? These people have shown up to your company with your name on it? Every single day they have bought into. I am going to make Darla's dream come true as her company, as her employee.
I'm an employee. I just hope I get paid on Friday. What are you about to do to this room? Yeah. And a lot of folks don't have an answer for that.
Julie Cober: No. 'cause they don't stop and set an intention.
Darla Bonk: Yep. Right. I have yet to talk to you about business strategy or your numbers or your processes, or this is all about.
You as the owner, you as the leader, you as the person setting the trail. How are you leading? How are you living yourself? Well, don't turn around and ask any of your people to do it if you can't answer these basic questions Yeah. Yourself, and then you're like about yourself. Okay, what do I have to do?
Yeah.
Julie Cober: Yeah. How? Just tell me what to do. Darla. Yeah. Do right? Yeah. So it's interesting. So what I'm hearing, which doesn't surprise me [00:49:00] because. They, you're right, it's, it's similar what you've said the whole time. They think they want this, so they're gonna come for strategy or ROI or pricing or whatever, which is all like really happy to talk about as a business person.
Yeah. But somewhere, I mean, they know that you're not the CEO of a company. You don't know how to set a strategy. Like, let's be clear, right? What are they really? Maybe it's not even conscious. It could be unconscious, but they likely know somewhere, some within themself, they need more than a strategic advisor.
Right, right, right. And the top CEOs in the world get that. I was talking again this morning too. I was saying let's talk about the billionaire that all the billionaires in the world wanna emulate. Who do you think that is? Right. It's Richard Branson. Right? That guy gets mindset. That guy gets energy. That guy gets freedom Fridays.
Yep. Right. And he's always gotten that right from the get go. You can easily sit back and go, yeah, well he is a billionaire now. He doesn't have to. No, no. He's been like that from day one. Right? He understands [00:50:00] mindset, he understands leadership. He understands how to treat people. It's not rocket science.
It's not rocket science. Be a really good leader, right? Yep. But it's shocking how many aren't, but, okay, so. I ask everybody that I interview on this podcast, this que one question, and so I'm gonna ask you, and I actually have an answer for you. 'cause I know you, but I'm not gonna say it. I want you to answer first.
Okay? But, so if you were going to write a book about your life. What would be the title?
Darla Bonk: It is so funny that you talk about this because I literally was just with a client this morning and he and I were talking about this because my husband and I have created a title of a book, okay? Two years ago. Ah, nobody will buy that.
Nobody will buy it, whatever. So I think, you know, a lot of times I ask, you know, clients, so what do you wanna do about it? And so his thing is stop asking what they wanna do about it. Just tell them fix your crap. So the answer, the answer to the title would be, Fix Your Crap. [00:51:00]
Julie Cober: Okay. Fix your crap. That's funny.
Darla Bonk: Okay. That's terrible. Like bam in your face answer. But that would be the name of it. Maybe there's a nicer way to say it.
Julie Cober: Oh my God. I have the nicer way. This is so funny. Okay, this is the difference between Darla and I right now. You're gonna hear it right?
Darla Bonk: The HR officer and the one that gets called into HR all the time.
Julie Cober: And my word, when I was thinking about it, I'm like, what would be the word I would use for Darla's book? I, I pick the word perseverance, which is the same as fixing your crap. Same thing. Absolutely. Perseverance. I'm like, that's the word that I would pick if she said, Julie, what should be the name of my book?
Like what you, what the, you know, the life you've led. Yeah. The intention you've set, where you are today, where you've come from, like it's nothing but perseverance. Yeah. And belief. Belief in that I can, I can fix this, I can change it, I can, I can take responsibility, I have choice. All those things, right?
Yep. So, and what I loved when. When I thought of perseverance too, [00:52:00] I thought like, well, what happened when, like someone like Darla, who I hope we've, we've shared, and you guys can get a sense now. When you persevere, you can start to ask yourself according to who? Yeah, like people, when you're persevering, like ask yourself.
According to who? Like who made up these rules? Yeah. Why do I have to operate this way? Why can't I have Fridays off? Why can't I start my own business? Why, why, why? Yeah. Like ask yourself these things, right? Yep. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, my friend. This has been amazing, which I knew it would be. So how can my audience connect with you?
I know they're gonna want to like, what's the best way to find you? We'll share everything in the notes, but let us know.
Darla Bonk: Yeah. So thank you so much. So I live on LinkedIn. Okay. Um, and you can find me at Darla Bonk, Darla Bonk Consulting, whatever it may be. Uh, you can find me on Facebook, Darla Bonk. You can go to my YouTube channel, Darla Bonk Consulting. Um, you search my name on Instagram, it'll pop up as Darla Bonk.
Julie Cober: Okay. And we didn't even [00:53:00] talk about your podcast, like on your way. They can search that too.
Darla Bonk: Yeah, so host of the On Your Way podcast where we help you overcome the obstacles that are in your way so that you can get on your way to building and living a life you love and 'cause obstacles come.
Yeah, it's not that it's not gonna happen. No one's immune to it. It's how do you navigate through it so.
Julie Cober: It's guaranteed. It's guaranteed. You're gonna run into something.
Darla Bonk: And you can email me at [email protected].
Julie Cober: Oh my gosh. Okay, you guys, if so, if anything that Darla has said that's resonated, which I'm sure there's a ton, like reach out.
I know she would be happy to connect with you. Thank you so much my friend. This was so good, as I knew would be. Thank you.
Darla Bonk: So fun. Love it.
Julie Cober: Alrighty my friend. We'll talk soon.
Darla Bonk: All right. Bye-bye.
Julie Cober: Thank you so much for choosing to spend your time with us. I hope today's insights have empowered you and given you ideas and tools to start to rewrite your rules of success. If you love today's episode, please leave us a review and be sure to share it with a friend. And if you'd like to [00:54:00] hear more from these trailblazing women, be sure to hit the subscribe button so you never miss out on another powerful episode.
Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn or Instagram for daily doses of motivation behind the scenes insight, and to keep the conversation going. For additional resources and strategies, visit juliecober.com. And subscribe to my newsletter where you'll receive life-changing content delivered right to your inbox.
And always remember you have the ability to create any change you want in your life at any time. You are 100% worthy of living a life that you genuinely love. That's supported by work that you truly enjoy. Keep pushing the boundaries. Question your thoughts. Step into the elevated version of you, and until next time, always be asking yourself “According To Who?”.
According To Who?
