The #1 CEO Superpower Every Woman Leader Needs | 8
[00:00:00] And this is the reason why I think responsibility is one of the top most powerful leadership tools you need to have in your leadership toolkit, in your leadership toolbox. If you wanna change any aspect of your life, like fully embodying responsibility and what that actually means, showing up responsible has the ability to shift everything in your life. Everything.
Imagine if you were invited to a room filled with a collection of the most diverse, interesting, authentic women in business leadership and entrepreneurship today, sharing their stories of growth, courage, risk, and change. Women who've declared enough is enough. These rules of success I've been asked to follow no longer work for me and frankly, who made them up anyway.
Well, there is such a room and my friend, you're here in it right now. Welcome to “According To Who?” the go-to [00:01:00] podcast for successful women who are ready to question the current status quo, do things differently and rewrite her next chapter.
I'm your host, Julie Cober, former C-suite corporate executive turned founder, CEO, and peak performance mindset coach to the female founder on a mission to build, grow, and scale on her own terms. If you're craving more freedom, wellbeing, and true fulfillment both in your work and your life, guess what? You're going to love being in this room.
All right, so today is a solo episode. It's just me and I wanted to share with you guys this week. I've been having some amazing conversations with some really, really incredible women. And there's been some themes going on in our conversations right now, and I started thinking that I think that there's some powerful tools that came up in these conversations that would help you as well.
So these women have been asking amazing questions. [00:02:00] They are women who are looking to move into their next chapter. Different for all of them looking for what is that first step? What, where do I even start, Julie, for a lot of them, you know, inquiring more about mentorship and coaching and how that looks and all the things, but the theme that has come through all of them has been, and this is from the women, not me.
Uh, I mean, I would say this as well, but they all have said in one way or another, you know what, no one is living my life but me. Or another theme would be, no one's showing up for me, not, not that they don't have support, but no one is showing, no one is solving this for me. No one is showing up for me. I have to figure this out.
If this is what I want my next chapter to look like, if I wanna go down a different road at this stage in my life, it's my responsibility. To figure this out and decide how I wanna live my life. So that's kind of been the theme. And of course, the key in all of that is taking responsibility, right? Which is one of [00:03:00] the big, powerful leadership tools I teach to my clients in the Legacy Leadership Academy.
And so I thought, I'm gonna talk about responsibility today in this podcast, and I'm gonna share some tips. Because I shared them with these women when I spoke with them on calls and they all were super appreciative and were able to, you know, some of them are putting them into practice right away. So if we think of responsibility, and at its simplest form, if you're creating what you want in your life, if you're creating what you want in your career in a, in a business, in a new business, in your health, in your relationships, any aspect of your life.
In a nutshell, you are being responsible. There's no other way around it. It's very, responsibility is very black and white. When you have what you want in your life, regardless of what area it is, it's because you've decided to take full responsibility to have it, to go get it, to bring it to yourself, to attract it, to receive it, to [00:04:00] accept it.
You've taken full responsibility. You, you know, you might not know how, which often many don't, but you, you've taken the responsibility and the decision to figure it out. And this is the reason why I think responsibility is one of the top most powerful leadership tools you need to have in your leadership toolkit, in your leadership toolbox.
If you wanna change any aspect of your life. Fully embodying responsibility and what that actually means. Showing up responsible has the ability to shift everything in your life. Everything. So what I thought would be useful today, 'cause I talked about these mentors with these women at different times, and I wanna share with you lessons I've learned from three mentors that I've had in my life.
And I just wanna qualify mentorship for a little bit. Okay? Because. When you have mentors in your life, you have probably most pe-, almost all would be familiar with a boss, [00:05:00] a former boss, a coach. You know, someone who's alive and and well and in your life, you've either hired them or you have some sort of connection with them, but not all mentors fit that model.
Okay? So the three that I'm gonna share with you today, two of the three are no longer alive and three of the three I've never met. I consider them very powerful mentors in my life. Okay, so they don't always have to be alive and kicking and in your life and somehow formally connected to you for you to learn from them.
A mentor is someone you learn from. A mentor is someone who's gone before you. A mentor shares new perspectives. A mentor asks really great questions. And also answers your questions. There's a slight difference between coaching and mentoring, but you know they're thought leaders, right? And they're able to shed some light on something that you want some assistance with.
Okay, so the first one that I wanna share with you that I've learned so much from, like the [00:06:00] most powerful of the three. In terms of specific, like in a lot of ways, but specifically in responsibility is Bob Proctor. So he was, he's an OG, he was one of the OGs originals in the personal development space. I grew up in the same town he lived in.
I, we knew people from that town, the same people. I always thought I would meet Bob live and I never did. He passed about three years ago, I believe, uh, in his late eighties. And I never did meet him, but I have taken his course thinking into results and I took it through three different coaches and all three of those coaches for different reasons at different times.
But they were all, they all studied directly under Bob. So I feel like I did know him, but I'm just sharing that because I never met the man. I just study his work. I still study it to this day, and I still work with coaches that work directly underneath him. So I wanna read you a quote of his. He said, we are all responsible for [00:07:00] where we are and the results we are experiencing.
When a person refuses to accept responsibility for their life, they reject all uniqueness and they turn all their power over to other people's situations and circumstances and that. Quote just always was so it resonated so strongly with me. Especially when he says they reject all uniqueness because your uniqueness is within you.
Your uniqueness is your personal power, right? It's you taking responsibility for your inner spirit. Right. Your choices, your decisions, the things that come from within you, because so often people feel like life happens to them. And I know you probably all have heard life hasn't. It doesn't happen to you, it happens for you.
It's a cliche, but it's true. That's essence of responsibility. And so ask yourself when life is happening, 'cause life is gonna life, we, we get thrown curve balls, things come that we don't expect, [00:08:00] and all the things, how do you speak about it? I know for me, especially when I was in corporate and, and managing a, you know, a very busy life, not managing it very well, I, I realized through this work that I was living on default.
I was not living by design. I was feeling trapped. I didn't feel like I had choices. I wasn't making decisions that I would make today. I wasn't taking full responsibility for the fact that I could do this differently. I could move to do a different job. I could, I could leave like I did eventually.
There's, there's choices that we had, but I would hear myself say the word deal. All the time. Oh my God, this is something else I have to deal with. Oh, now I have to deal with this. Are you kidding me? Is this what I have to deal with? Like deal, deal, deal. That's a big word that I used often, and that is a direct line to me not taking full responsibility.
I don't have to deal with anything, right? Life is [00:09:00] lifeing and I get to make choice and decision and responsibility around it. Another word you might hear yourself say is Cope. My gosh, I'm not sure I know how to cope with this. Do I have to cope with this now? Like deal and cope are two big words that if you hear yourself saying, you're probably not taking a hundred percent responsibility for every kind of behavior and action in the circumstance that you're in, right?
We we're feeling like there's something external to us that's causing this. I'm not gonna get into this today, but this is the law of cause and effect, and that's something you might wanna look into because it's huge. So every result we have in our life, every effect is we cause it based on our choices, our decisions, and the responsibilities, how we show up in our life.
So when things go sideways, which they're going to, whether it's your health, your relationships, you know, your work. I mean, I think of, when I think of this, I think of the, um, time in my work in my forties going I, it [00:10:00] took 10 years for me. To move through perimenopause and menopause. In fact, I think it was 11 years and I suffered greatly in that stage of my life.
Lot of different reasons. I'll probably do a podcast on that one time, but life went sideways for like 11 years for me, right. So when that happens and others are involved, I was blaming my hormones. I was blaming the environment. I was, I was not that, you know, I wasn't taking responsibility for how I was feeling.
I wasn't taking responsibility that I wasn't eating very well. I was very regularly or irregularly exercising, like some of the things we know that help us through that stage of life. I was doing none of, and I was blaming a lot of things externally to me. I had choice that I could have showed up a little differently.
And now what I know today, I wish I had because it would've would not have been, I don't think as difficult for me. But like when [00:11:00] life goes sideways, do you step in and say, okay, I have a choice here. I. Or I had some, maybe there's a big argument in your family, you know, do you say, okay, what part did I play in this?
Did I play a part? What can I learn from this? Right? How can I accept some responsibility? 'cause usually, especially around arguing or things like that, those, any kind of that communication are two-way streets, right? So, you know, I can't give you every example in the world, but just that whole thought process of, you know, what, what can I accept responsibility for?
What part did I play in this? Or do we talk about all the things that other people did or, you know, the environment did or the economy is doing or all the things. But again, life is gonna life. There's absolutely, you're gonna have things happen to us, right? It's how we react. Are we responding or are we, are we knee jerk trigger reacting like I used to all the time?
How we manage the [00:12:00] situation is what matters. That's taking a hundred percent responsibility. We are a hundred percent responsible for our thoughts, for our interpretations, for our responses, whether it's a reaction or not, and how we participate in life, how we show up, how we express ourself. So I'm gonna give you a little tip here.
Okay. So I got this from a coach years ago, and I, this is from somebody who is a full-blown reactionary. In my height of stress and anxiety and overwhelm and all the things in my corporate life, especially towards the end, not managing well, living on default, not thinking I had choice. All the things, things that triggered me.
It would be like a knee-jerk reaction. I know. Now why. Right. So I very, very, very rarely react now because I've, I've figured this out through this work, but one of the first tools that I got was from a coach. So when you [00:13:00] have, let's say someone says something to you, your spouse, or maybe one of your kids or somebody at work, your boss, and you feel it.
You feel it right away. You feel the bubbling, you feel the heat. I would feel heat coming up my neck and up my head. Like I was so angry when something triggered me. And you know you have a matter of seconds, like one or two seconds potentially before the reaction happens. My coach taught me two words, and honestly, these were life changing.
If you feel that feeling like I just described, something triggers you and you feel this way, say to yourself, Hmm. Interesting. Even out loud, when my kids did it, I used to go, Hmm, interesting. And it's not calm. You're like, teeth are clenched. You're like, Hmm. Interesting. Those two words gives you the second to decide, are you gonna fly off the handle and react or are you gonna respond?
Because either way, it's your choice and either way you're [00:14:00] responsible for the outcome of either or. We're a hundred percent responsible for our thoughts, our interpretations, our responses, our reactions, our flying off the handle, our being calm, whatever it is. And so that's what's important to understand.
Life is doesn't happen to you. Instead of saying life happens for you, I like to say you're the co-creator of the experience. So I just wanted to give you that little tip there and try it. Honestly, at first I was like, okay, yeah, I don't think this is gonna work for me. But I started doing it and it was, it gave me the second or two where I could, and then I would get to the point, especially with my kids, where I would say, Hmm, interesting.
And then I would calm down enough to say, I'm actually triggered very much right now and I'm not feeling great, so I'm gonna remove myself from this situation and I'll come back when I'm calm. Like I got to that point with them so I could go away. So, 'cause I didn't wanna react, I didn't wanna fly off the [00:15:00] handle.
I didn't wanna yell at my kids all the time, right? Just because I was stressed. So try that. But we are responsible, right? We're responsible to co-create our experiences that we want. Responsible people co-create responsible people. Respond. They find tips like I just gave you, to try not to react. They decide responsibility is the same as as making decisions.
Responsible people know that they have choice, and when we're in a state of being responsible, we're designing intentionally what we want in life. We are designing how we wanna show up. Who we wanna be, what we wanna say to ourself, what we wanna say to others, how we wanna act. So if you're in a tough situation at work right now, let's say, as I know, a lot of women who listen to this podcasters are in their corporate life.
If you have a difficult boss like [00:16:00] design ahead of time, you're gonna, you know, you're gonna be in situations, right? With this person. How do you wanna show up, right? How do you want to respond to this person when they don't necessarily talk to you in the way they should? You know, they say things that maybe aren't a hundred percent accurate.
You can design that. You can take responsibility 'cause you know it's gonna happen. And design how you wanna be in the interaction ahead of time. Even like in the most difficult, believe me, when you come out of that situation and you expressed yourself or behaved or showed up the way you designed, you are gonna feel so confident it's going to give you a hit internally in your personal power like you probably haven't felt in a long time.
So one of the things that Bob Proctor provided, and I don't know, you probably could just Google this and find it. Um, we give it to all of our clients here in the Legacy Leadership Academy, but it's called the Responsibility article. [00:17:00] I received it from one of my coaches, Bob. It's a article he wrote, so you can probably just Google that Bob Proctor responsibility article.
See if you can find it out on the internet. It's probably out there. It is. That was a life changing article. And in fact, when my clients are stuck in some area of their life or their business or whatever they're working on, we actually pull that article out and they read it like every day for seven days or 14 days.
And because it's one of those ones that every time you read it, you pick up something new. But he shared what he state. The big things he stated in that article of what he believes around responsibility is that responsibility is not just about. Doing what's expected of us, but it's about taking full ownership for our results, for our actions, for our attitude, for our thinking.
'cause you're thinking your thoughts. Create your feelings. Your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results. That's the model, right? So it starts with being responsible [00:18:00] for your thoughts. He says that you and only you are responsible for where you are in your life and where you'll go.
We can make different choices. I just had the most beautiful conversation for another podcast that's gonna be dropping right after this one with my coach, Hina Khan, and she reminded us that you can go down a road and like me, I went way down a road or way up a mountain, all based on choices I was making, even though I felt trapped.
But you can get halfway down that road and say, Hmm. This is the wrong road. I, I don't think I wanna go any further down this road and turn around, make a different choice, and go back. We can always make different choices. We are, we can take responsibility for, Hmm. I haven't, the choices I've made have brought me here and I'm, I don't love it.
So I'm gonna make different choices and I'm gonna go in a different direction. But we're responsible for where we are in our life and where we'll go and the path to [00:19:00] success. Whether it's through personal growth, business development, spiritual alignment, whatever you believe, it all begins with accepting responsibility.
That's what Bob taught and that this shift in perspective, what I just said, it all begins with accepting responsibility, allows us to become an active participant in creating our reality, a co-creator. Wherever our life is at right now. We created this, we created it, and maybe we had things happen to us.
And I'm not saying there aren't people in the world that are true victims and have been victimized, but we still have choice how we go forward from there. And we had, I think a couple of podcasts ago, right, with um, Darla Bonk. She had a beautiful sta statement there that said, we're not responsible for what happened to us, but we are responsible for how we go forward, what choices we're gonna [00:20:00] make from here.
I'm paraphrasing it, but it's the same thing, right? We're responsible for creating our reality rather than being passive observers. Okay, so Bob's four key takeaways around responsibility is ownership of your mindset. You're in control of your thoughts, your emotions, and your reactions. I would've never have believed that in the past because I was so reactionary.
We're in control of what you think and what you think is what you attract. Okay? What you think is what you attract into your life. And so by taking control of your mindset, what you, as you know here, we like to call it our noisy roommate. 'cause so much of it is negative. You become the architect of your reality.
The second key point he taught was the power of decision, right? Manifestation or create all that means is creating what you want in your life, attracting what you want in your life. Manifestation is driven by clear, decisive action and by who you're being. [00:21:00] Okay? The universe doesn't respond to your effort.
It responds to who you're being. So are you being someone who flies off the handle? Are you being someone who's blaming the world for an area of your life that's not going your way? Are you being someone who's taking responsibility to make change, to do things differently, to make different choices, make different decisions?
Because once you take responsibility for making decisions, you begin to set your life. On a course that aligns with your purpose, that aligns with who you really are, who that aligns with your light, right? That aligns with your desires. The third thing he said is overcoming the victim mentality and not being a victim or being victimized.
That's not what he's talking about. He's talking about blaming the world for something that maybe we did ourselves. Blaming external circumstances, right, or people, or fate or the weather or the economy. It's not the economy's fault. I talked to someone the other day, they were saying, oh, the economy [00:22:00] is really, it's coming.
It's in a slump. And you know, the, the job, the job market is really not in a great place. And I said, oh, really? Like I see tons of jobs. Tons of jobs are still being posted, like companies are hiring. Maybe not at the pace that they were, you know, maybe there's more candidates for each job. That might be true, all of that.
But it's not like there's nobody hiring. What, how, what responsibility are we taking in that, right, in our current situation because when we blame external circumstances, people, fate, all the things for our current situation, that is what keeps you stuck. So if you feel stuck in any area, and I wish I had this many, many years in corporate, when I felt stuck, if I'd known that this is, this is an issue with me and the decisions I am and am not making.
I'm not, you're never stuck. You're never, never, never stuck. You can always do something different. You can [00:23:00] talk to somebody, you can ask questions, you can think of things a different way. That's what personal responsibility is. It means acknowledging that everything in your life is the result of a choice of your choice, right?
And this, to me is liberating. Again, I wish if I had had that back then. Things would've been different. It wasn't meant to be that way, all the things, but to me it's liberating. 'cause you get to make new and more empowering choices. And then the fourth point from Bob was the role of consistency. So manifestation and personal growth and any kind of change requires effort.
It requires consistency. It requires consistency in who you're being and what you're doing. It requires taking responsibility, which means being disciplined in your actions and your thoughts and your habits. And again, this does not mean that life is not gonna throw you curve [00:24:00] balls, just if we all of a sudden become a hundred percent responsible, you're still gonna get them and you're gonna get them often that, that none of that is ever gonna change.
The up and down the law of polarity in life is not gonna change. What it means is when we understand responsibility is that we can make a personal decision on how we wanna handle the curve ball when it comes. I know a lot of people in my personal life, like when the curve ball comes, you would think that that nothing challenging had ever happened to them before.
Right. And it has, and it's like, it's like it comes out of left field and I'm thinking. Not that we wanna ever wish anything bad upon anyone or a challenging situation, we're not doing that, but we're not being unrealistic. We know that they're gonna come, right? We know that we're gonna have great time in life and we're gonna have challenging times in life.
That's, that, you know, is going to challenge who we're being. But anything you want in [00:25:00] life, Bob will tell, would've told you. Take starts with taking personal responsibility for our intentional decisions. Intentional decisions. Get intentional on your choices, on your decision, how you're showing up, how you're expressing yourself, all the things. So those were the big lessons from Bob Proctor.
The second mentor that never met. I, I had to look up before I started this podcast. He passed away, uh, this gentleman in 19, I believe, 97. So this is Viktor Frankl, Dr. Viktor Frankl. So. This is a man who people, if you don't know him, whose life and his work, I think offers some of the most powerful lessons around purpose, resilience and what it means to live fully by taking full responsibility.
So he was a neurologist. He was a psychiatrist, and he was a Holocaust survivor. [00:26:00] But what truly stands out about him is how he turned an unimaginable suffering that he and his family experienced that these Nazi concentration camps in World War II into a message of hope and meaning for the world. So he wrote the book, I Have It right here.
The Man's Search for Meaning, man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. This book will change your life. He shares his core belief that even in the darkest of times, which he obviously went through because he was the only survivor, his entire family did not make it out. But even in those darkest times, he says, we have the freedom to choose how we respond.
Which is remarkable really with what he went through in the depths of his horror, he proved the theory of what he calls self [00:27:00] responsibility and choice. So you've been hearing me talk about choice and responsibility. I call them, they're not identical twins, I call them fraternal twins, born at the same time, live a life together.
Very similar. They go hand in hand, but he proved the theory of self-responsibility and choice. No matter what life throws at you, you have those two. And what he saw when he was doing this work in the concentration camps, he saw that those who had hope were living on hope, that they were gonna get out live living, that it was gonna be a good turnout in hope that it would turn out well.
Didn't make it out, couldn't cope, couldn't, couldn't manage the circumstance. But those who had purpose. We're more likely to survive. And so he then spent the rest of his life working on this from a research perspective. He realized that no matter what one [00:28:00] person might afflict on another, no human can take away your power to think, to have a certain attitude.
No other person has the power to take either of those away, and that's what he believed. He believed that, and we know whatever we believe to be true will be our truth. And he spent the rest of his life studying this, writing about this and bringing this to the world. So I would highly recommend that book.
And then the third mentor that I wanted to share with you guys is Dr. David Hawkins and I, I have this book here, but I didn't bring it up. Anyway, he is a very powerful teacher of courage, of consciousness, and of self-responsibility. So he was a renowned, um, psychiatrist, obviously an author, and he was a spiritual teacher.
So his book is The Map of Consciousness, which is, it's a pretty high [00:29:00] level spirituality concepts. I started reading this book years ago, and I just, I, it didn't resonate. I could, I was not in a place to receive this information. I couldn't really even understand it. Now, it's a almost like a study guide for me on my night table.
But in this book, he charts, um, different levels of human awareness. So he has a chart. I can't remember how the, the span of it, I think it's about 22 different emotions, right from the very bottom, which is shame and guilt, up to the very highest vibration, the highest emotions, which is love and enlightenment and all the different emotions in between.
And each of those have different vibrations. I am making this very, very simple right now, but the most interesting part about his work is how he likened responsibility and courage as a pivotal turning point in personal growth and [00:30:00] living your life by design and those emotions, those ways of being are in the middle of his chart.
So it's where we turn from these lower vibrations like frustration and anger and shame and guilt and rage and apathy. And you know, the states we don't like to be in. Those lower, slower vibrations. That middle of the pack is courage and responsibility. And when we step into that vibration, we start moving into the higher ones, like gratitude and love and enlightenment and, um, I'm trying to remember all the ones.
Happiness, joyful, right? The ways we want to be right? Uh, powerful. So he says. Self responsibility is a crucial step towards higher consciousness, higher vibrations, higher awareness, and it's the moment we stop blaming others and circumstances and fate for our lives and we start owning [00:31:00] our choices.
That's the moment things start to transform according to, to Dr. Hawkins. And he says, the shift is not just empowering, it's literally transformative. Responsibility is one of the keys to, to the start of the transformation we get. How, how can we change anything in our life? We just think about this for a second.
How can we change anything if we're not willing to take responsibility for what's going on in our life right now to the level that we can within our, within our sphere. When we take full responsibility for our thoughts, for our, the way we express ourself, our actions, our outcomes, we begin to reclaim our personal power.
We go within, we stop looking external and we go within and go, okay, what needs to change within here? Because change yourself, change your thinking, change your life. When you change within everything around you, externally starts to change. That's why we have to go within first. So courage in [00:32:00] Dr. Hawkins model is the threshold of where real transformation begins.
And I would tell you, if you were in my world and I was coaching, you lack limitation and fear. They're all created in our mind. They're not in our soul. They're not in our soul at all. We create those in our mind, so we need to figure out how to step into courage because courage is the level where we stop playing small.
Courage is where we stop caring what other people think. We start taking these bold, aligned actions, right? Where we look at ourselves and go, who am I? Even in the face of fear or uncertainty, we feel the fear and we do it anyway. That's what courage is. Doesn't mean you're not gonna be afraid you will be.
Courage is where we find strength to step into responsibility for our lives To stop. Looking external for answers and go within, we start making decisions that align with our truth, the truth of [00:33:00] who we really are, the truth of what we want. That, you know, we're sitting here so many women saying like, oh, I know I'm made for more.
I don't feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I, I, I, I want a course correct. That takes courage to do that. Making decisions that, that, that feeling, those words that I'm saying that's your truth. Coming out saying I was there. I was like, this is not what I'm supposed to be doing. I did not get put on this earth to do what I'm doing right now.
That was the start of my courage and taking responsibility. I mean it, you know, morphed for over a long time, 14 years, but rather than staying stuck. In these lower levels that I was in of consciousness, like fear, anger, overwhelm, stress, anxiety, rage sometimes, right? These knee jerk reactions, the triggers, those are all the lower levels of consciousness.
And rather than staying [00:34:00] stuck, I decided it's time to step into some courage Here. It's time to take responsibility. I, if I want this to change, it's up to me. Dr. Hawkins says that when we want to change something in our life or when we wanna step into that next chapter, the work that we're meant to do, that I'm talking about embracing courage and responsibility are non-negotiables.
For not willing to do that, nothing's gonna change. And that's his teaching. And I, that is, that rings true for me. That is everything I'm saying today. You might agree with or you might not. And so what I would ask for you as you're listening to this is if you're feeling triggered, why? And it's good if you're feeling triggered.
Honestly, if I'm ticking you off right now, I am happy about that because that means there's something within you that's resonating here. It's either resonating and you're maybe annoyed because you agree [00:35:00] and you wish you were further along this road that was me. Or it's not resonating and you don't agree with it at all, and you know it's not your truth.
That usually won't trigger you as much as the other one. It's more projection. You're saying, yes, I want to have this life. I don't wanna feel this way anymore. I want to make change. I want to step in my next chapter. I want to get off this, the hamster wheel of stress. I just don't know how, and this is really ticking me off.
And so if that's the case, then reach out either to me or somebody else in your world. Ask questions, make different choices, take responsibility and find out how you could possibly do your one next little step. That's what I say to my clients all the time. I just had the most beautiful coaching call this morning with one of my one-on-one clients who has the biggest vision in the world like, like what she wants to create is so amazingly.
Beautiful and big, but you know, we had to come back and say, okay, that's amazing. Now what's [00:36:00] the first step? What do you have to do first? Because if you stay up here, which I asked her to go up there and visualize and create what she wants in her life, then you come back down the mountain, go, okay, step one and step one might just be getting a question answered.
Right. Step one might be coming to one of my free events. Step one might be talking to your boss about doing something differently, your spouse, whatever, whatever it is for you. But embracing courage and responsibility are non-negotiables When you want change. So my recommendation, those are my three mentors never met in my life.
They have had more impact on my life and the changes I've made in my life and the embodiment I have taken of responsibility and the different human I am. I always say to my clients, if you ask either of my children, when's the last time your mom reacted? I'm not sure they could tell you. Because I don't [00:37:00] anymore because of these tools that I've, that I've embodied.
So study these powerful teachers, Bob Proctor, Viktor Frankl, Dr. David Hawkins, and there's a zillion more. These ones are just my three big ones, but study. These powerful teachers and what they teach around, they teach a lot of things. This is, I'm just talking about responsibility today, but a key point that I want you to really, this is a writer downer, okay?
This is what I always say when I really want you guys to get something. Your world is a reflection of you. The universe is just a mirror. It's an external reflection of what's happening on the inside for you. And the other thing is, is that whatever you believe about yourself, the world's gonna believe as well.
Okay? So that's really important. Whatever you believe about yourself, the world is going to believe that too. The world just believes what you believe. So what do you wanna believe about yourself? What do you want to, how [00:38:00] do you want to be in terms of responsibility? Okay, so the reminders from today, summary reminders.
You always have a choice, no matter the situation, the faith, the circumstances. You have the power to choose your response, your thought, your action, your attitude, your assumptions, all the things, how you express yourself. You have the ability to choose that which is going to shape your reality and your future.
Okay. Number two, take ownership for your life. That's what responsibility is. Embracing self-responsibility means accepting that your mindset, your decisions and the results are in your control. You're not trapped. You're not stuck. It might feel that way, but trust me, you're not. You can figure your way out of this.
You can make different choices. You can move back down the road the other way. And this is, these are things that are free will free you from feeling stuck. [00:39:00] Right? Taking ownership of your life is gonna free you from feeling stuck. Courage drives change. Making bold, decisive choices that is aligned to who you are, your purpose, your heart, your soul, what you want.
That requires courage, and it's the first step to transforming any aspect of your life. And consistency and purpose lead to growth. So success and fulfillment come from consistent, intentional ways of being and of doing, which is effective action, being and doing. Who do I need to be and what do I need to do to have what I wanna have?
That's the leadership model that only 5% of the world follows. Most people go right to the do How, how, how, how, how, how's important, but who is just as important? [00:40:00] So my friends, take responsibility for your internal world and watch how your external world is gonna quickly, quickly start to change.
Thank you so much for choosing to spend your time with us. I hope today's insights have empowered you and given you ideas and tools to start to rewrite your rules of success. If you love today's episode, please leave us a review and be sure to share it with a friend. And if you'd like to hear more from these trailblazing women, be sure to hit the subscribe button so you never miss out on another powerful episode.
Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn or Instagram for daily doses of motivation behind the scenes insight and to keep the conversation going. For additional resources and strategies, visit julie cobra.com. And subscribe to my newsletter where you'll receive life-changing content delivered right to your inbox.
And always remember you have the ability to create [00:41:00] any change you want in your life at any time. You are 100% worthy of living a life that you genuinely love. That's supported by work that you truly enjoy. Keep pushing the boundaries. Question your thoughts. Step into the elevated version of you, and until next time, always be asking yourself “According To Who?”.
According To Who?
