Create a Life of Ease, Joy & Fun with Peak Performance Mindset Coach Hina Khan | 9
Hina Khan: [00:00:00] You'll have kids say, I would give up everything to have a happy parent, a parent that's content. A parent that's content, it changes the atmosphere in the house. So that really is when I started to make my wellbeing my top priority and know that everyone will benefit if I'm taking care of myself, including what lights me up and my happiness.
Julie Cober: Imagine if you were invited to a room filled with a collection of the most diverse, interesting, authentic women in business leadership and entrepreneurship today, sharing their stories of growth, courage, risk, and change. Women who've declared enough is enough. These rules of success I've been asked to follow no longer work for me and frankly, who made them up anyway?
Well, there is such a room and my friend, you're here in it right now. Welcome to “According To Who?” the go-to podcast for successful women [00:01:00] who are ready to question the current status quo, do things differently, and rewrite her next chapter.
I'm your host, Julie Cober, former C-suite corporate executive turned founder, CEO, and peak performance mindset coach to the female founder on a mission to build, grow, and scale on her own terms. If you're craving more freedom, wellbeing, and true fulfillment both in your work and your life, guess what? You're going to love being in this room.
Julie Cober: All right. Welcome. Welcome everybody. I am so excited for our guest today. I have had the privilege, honestly, deep privilege of being a student of Hina’s, of her powerful teachings, her powerful coaching. We just experienced it this weekend at Rise at the Ritz. I first. I got to know Hina when I took her thinking into Results Program and that was the last [00:02:00] cohort.
And she has a whole nother beautiful program now. But, uh, and I attended what I call her life changing Magic in the Mountains Retreat in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada, which I can't believe I was thinking today. That was, that was just earlier this year. It feels like it was two, three years ago. Um.
Yeah, so I was able to attend that and then this, just this past Saturday, I attended her Rise at the Ritz here in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. So welcome, welcome, welcome to the one and only amazing Hina Khan. We're so happy that you're here and I'm so grateful. Thank you so, so much for saying yes to this.
Hina Khan: Oh my gosh. It was the easiest, fastest, yes.
Julie Cober: Oh, Hina teaches always and you'll hear today. What would you love? Like that is a question she asked everyone and when I started. Thinking about this podcast and who I would love on it, your name was on the top of the list. That is what I would love is to have Hina come and join us.
So she's here today. I'm gonna read you guys as I always do her bio, so you know her [00:03:00] background, and then we're gonna jump into our fireside chat. Okay. So Hina Khan is the go-to peak performance mindset coach for CEOs, executives, and entrepreneurs. She is a former psychotherapist who combines her study of the human mind with spirituality.
Hina has over two decades of experience working with hundreds of people globally, and Hina is on a mission to change lives. She helps her clients create a life they love living through ease, joy, and fun. And through he's curated new, relatively new, curated, amplify you coaching framework that she developed herself from the ground up.
Her clients have made their annual income, their monthly income deepened. Their relationships moved into dream houses landed. Dream jobs started successful like, and I mean, very successful businesses and so much [00:04:00] more. Hina is a sought after expert for national TV shows, magazine's, keynotes, and podcasts, and she's also the host of the possibilities with Hina Khan.
Podcast and the bestselling author of A Return to You, which we're gonna talk a little bit about today. I'm so excited. So welcome, Hina again. I am so grateful that you're here.
Hina Khan: Thank you, Julie. I'm so looking forward to our conversation.
Julie Cober: Yeah, me too. Okay. Okay, so let's dive in. We always like to start with a little bit of background just for our listeners, so just to. Give you a little bit of sense. We attract mainly women. I mean, obviously anyone's listening to this podcast, but the, the audience that we tend to attract are women wanting to step into their next chapter, really wanting to make a change. And so I wanted to talk about that a little bit with you first. So you are a former psychotherapist and now founder, CEO of a very, very successful multimillion dollar coaching business.
Peak performance [00:05:00] coach. So at some point along the way somewhere, which I would love to learn a little bit more about, I'm sure the listeners will too. You made a decision that you want also maybe something different. Mm-hmm. That you want to make a transition from this world to this world, which is what most of our listeners wanna do as well.
So how did your journey transition from therapist to coach?
Hina Khan: Thank you for asking the question, Julie. It's so interesting because. I was very tied to my identity as a psychotherapist, as I think many of us are with our titles are our jobs, and so when we think of evolving another iteration, it can feel really, really scary because we can measure what we'll lose, but we can't measure what we will gain.
Right. So what I've realized looking back kind of in hindsight, is that my goal and my focus is always about helping people. That's the through [00:06:00] line. That's the purpose. But that purpose can be expressed in many different ways, and that purpose is expressed on TV at times, on being a guest on podcasts, in psychotherapy, and now in coaching.
And. All of the work that I did in psychotherapy, all of that training does not go out the window, right? Because there is some, some words have changed, you know? Now it is, now what I do is called coaching, right? But I am, that is, I still embody it. It is still in me and it still informs some of the questions I might ask or the way that I may work with somebody.
Although I, although, you know, coaching can feel therapeutic. But it isn't therapy, right? So I think when it comes to changing something first. It's even to give yourself permission to want something different, even when you are very successful at what you're currently doing. [00:07:00] Right?
Julie Cober: Right. That's so important. Like Mo, a lot of the women that I work with and then listen to this podcast, these are C-suite executives, these are, you know, top of the corporate mountain. Right. And deciding, gosh, I don't love the view up here anymore. So yes, you're right. They know how to be successful, but it's actually been.
Interesting for me in, in my own coaching journey, how, myself included, how many women move to this, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you know, especially in the HR world, right? Kind of the dream. I was talking to a few of your clients this weekend. The dream for an HR executive is to go out and coach on their own or consult on their own, right?
So, okay, I'm gonna hang out my shingle and I'm gonna become a coach. And then they become a coach and it's like they don't know what's going on. They don't know what's up or down because who they were over here. Is not the same as who they want to be or need to be over here.
Hina Khan: It's so true, and it's actually, I think, even tougher at times when you are really good at what [00:08:00] you do.
Yes. So you're, you're good at it. You get praised for it, you get seen for it, you get acknowledged for it. You've been doing it for years. It's easy for you to do. And I think of what Gay Hendricks talks about, that's our zone of excellence. Right. But it may not be your zone of genius and we wanna be in our zone of genius.
But it's hard to leave your zone of excellence 'cause your zone of excellence could also pay really well too. Yeah, it often does for these women.
Julie Cober: You're right, a hundred percent. I love that you just said that. I actually. I forgot about that concept. The zone of excellence versus the zone of genius. So to me, the zone of genius.
Yeah. You are stepping into your purpose. Mm-hmm. You're stepping into why you're put on this earth. It almost sometimes doesn't feel like work. Work. Yeah. 'cause there's a purpose at the end of it, right? Is that what you're saying about the difference where is Yeah, you can be really good and really successful, but you're not loving what you're doing.
Hina Khan: Yes. And you could have outgrown it. Mm. And like you said, [00:09:00] you know, there's something that feels more purposeful that is calling you forth and it may not make sense. And I think on paper it doesn't make sense for what your clients go through when they may be leaving something. Mm-hmm. And the world around them is.
Telling them, why would you do that? Right? Like that's, that's, you know, and even things like that could be irresponsible. Yes. Or you could be after all of those years that now you've wasted all of those years. I mean, these were things that I also had to work through as I was making a shift as well. So your zone of genius can sometimes.
Also feel selfish because you actually love it. Yeah. Yes. Because it's your purpose. It is where you are in flow and do you dare to do that, and is that okay to do? So there's a lot of things that can come up as we start to explore that. And it can be difficult to leave your comfort zone. [00:10:00] Absolutely.
Especially when there's others around you that for them, they truly cannot understand why you would leave it. Oh yeah.
Julie Cober: My dad asked me, are you having a midlife crisis? Like we just, your mother and I are very worried about you. I'm like, dad, no. I'm having a midlife calling. That's what I'm having. He's like, what?
What the heck is a midlife calling? I go, dad, I went to the top of this mountain and I, I don't love, and you're right. I love what you just said though, because you could have loved it and you probably did at some point. I did love a big portion of my career for many years, but the more senior I got, the less I got away from.
I remember sitting on the couch when I was trying to decide what to do with my life, and my husband said. What do you love? And like what you would ask, right? He asked me that, whatever, seven, eight. He was very smart man, right? Very smart man. And goes, what did you love the most? And I said, oh, well that's easy.
I loved coaching, I loved mentoring. I loved watching these people excel in their careers and helping them get to the next blah, blah, blah, blah. And he is [00:11:00] like, well, okay, go do that. Okay. And so it was, it was rocky though in the beginning. 'cause what Hina is saying too is so important. Like for me, what I've kind of discovered in my own journey of coaching is there's really like when you're exiting something, there's four stages.
There's a decision stage, and I'm gonna talk to Hina about decision. 'cause there's one thing to pie in the sky and go, wouldn't that be great someday? Versus a decision dropping into your body. There's the actual exit. Like the actual strategy. Like am I gonna ask for a package, especially very high paid women?
Do I have to save bonuses for three? Like how am I financially even gonna do this? 'cause a lot of them are either the only income earner or the primary income earner. Then there's the, this is the one that I love working with Hina, 'cause she's an expert on this. But the actual transition. Moving identity from an employee to an entrepreneur.
This is where almost every woman I work with underestimates this of how [00:12:00] rocky this can be, how powerful this can be, how everything Hina said already, how this pulls you back. She's maybe gonna talk about a circle concept. She has like. You are in and outta that circle so many times. And then the actual, depending on what it is you decide to do, if you're starting a new business or whatever, the whole sort of first 12 months of that.
Mm-hmm. And the transition in the next chapter run a parallel and it can be very. Very, um, unnerving. So I'm, I wanna dig into a little bit about that, but I wanna tell us where did peak performance coach come from? What does that even mean? Right. I, I know what it means and I know what it means for you, but I just want everyone to be clear. 'cause some people get that confused with sports analogies and things, things.
Hina Khan: It's not sports, I'll tell you that right now.
Julie Cober: It’s not sports.
Hina Khan: Nothing, there's no, there's nothing about this that's related to sports. However, I will. Say that athletes get it. Athletes get it in the sense of your. Thoughts, feelings and actions.
Really having, [00:13:00] you know, when we're talking about peak performance, a lot of it is has to do with mindset, but it has to do with the actions that are coming from the mindset and putting yourself in a peak state so that you are focused on your goals and your priorities, which it's especially important now when you know we have so many distractions and so many things.
Pulling at us. So to be able to perform at a peak state, we wanna keep our mind sharp and we wanna then take actions from that state and be in a place of responding as opposed to living in a world where we are just reacting to things. So we are truly creating what it is that we desire. So it has to do with our habits.
Our beliefs and our behaviors and that that matches up to our goal.
Julie Cober: Yeah, that's amazing. And so that's a great new way to think of peak performance because I often talk to my [00:14:00] clients and my audience about design versus default, which is what Hina just said, right? We're designing our life, we're creating our life, we're actually creating a movie script.
And you're the lead actress, right? You actually have control and choice and decision. That's peak performance is when you are. Almost like I said to my clients this morning, you're in the driver's seat of your car, and your car is your life. Because there's a lot of women here that feel trapped. They don't know how to do this.
They make big money, you know, their bill payments and their mortgages and their, the kids, you know, your son just went to university. Yes. Like, you know, I was gonna ask you, how's your mama heart? I know how that is, but I also put two children through university at the same time. That is not a cheap endeavor.
Right? Like, so a lot of women are like, this is all great Julie, but you know, I don't think I have a choice here. You always have a choice, right?
Hina Khan: You do. And we've been talking a lot about this idea of freedom and when we feel trapped, we feel like we are not free. [00:15:00] Mm-hmm. And but when you start to dig in and go, well, where does that feeling of being trapped come from?
Mm-hmm. Then we realize it's within us because the truth is. You could quit your job. You could not pay your bills. Like you're, you're, you're free to do those things. Now you may be like, I would never do that. I'm a responsible citizen. Things like, you know, you may have your reasons to not do certain things, but you are free to do it and you're choosing not to, and that's great.
Like, that's absolutely okay. But when you start to realize if we can start to replace, I have to, I should, I ought to not even replace it. Like just let that go and understanding that. Whatever you're experiencing right now was a choice. Even if you feel that it was the result of needing to, for whatever reason, you stayed in the corporate world for as long as you did.
Exactly. Because to put kids through [00:16:00] university, that's perfectly fine. And that was a choice. Yes. You actually still did not have to. Right. You could have not, you could have said to the kids, you guys have to figure it out yourself. Yep. Like, so that's where I think that it's just, it's an important distinction to understand and that's made a world of difference for me.
Yes. Is really getting that, that even these things where I feel like, well, I have to stay at this job because I have to put my kids through school. You don't.
Julie Cober: Right, right. Exactly. You, you, and I'm so glad you said this because for me, and people know this, like the very first podcast I did in this is was my story came out with my story because I felt I needed to be authentic and teach women, or, or share with women, so they knew they weren't alone.
And so I did that. He, oh, I've got a, you know, we've, we've got a house to pay for and cars, and the kids are gonna go to school and we want, I want them to have this beautiful life and all the things. That's not why I stayed in corporate. I stayed in corporate. [00:17:00] The secondary gain for me was to get the approval of my father.
And so we talk about that a lot here in this podcast and in my community as well. What's your secondary gain? And I didn't know that for years. For years. And because the more senior I got, the more successful I got, the more money I made, the more attention I received from my father. Yeah. And now, and you know, at first it's not easy to unpack that, but when I did, based on all the things you just said, choice, taking, responsibility, all the things, I realized that was, this was his issue, not mine.
I just took it on. Right. So sometimes there's a secondary gain.
Hina Khan: Yeah. And where do those issues live?
Julie Cober: Right.
Hina Khan: In our mind.
Julie Cober: In my body.
Hina Khan: In your body. Like in you. Mm-hmm. And we think it's outside of us. 'cause then we just call it. University, the house, right? All of these other things, right? Um, and so that's why the self-inquiry work is so important so that we can start to name what it truly is. [00:18:00]
And then again, the beautiful thing about freedom, as I've been thinking about it, is that there's always the opportunity to choose again. Yes, yes. We don't have to punish ourselves like once. Sometimes when we become aware of something, we're like, why didn't I? Yeah. I wish I had been aware of this 30 years ago.
Julie Cober: I say that, oh, if I knew this information 20 years ago, well, I didn't and I wasn't supposed to.
Hina Khan: Well, yeah. 'cause it, the information was here. Yeah. I wasn't ready for it.
Julie Cober: Yeah. No, I couldn't have, I would've said, this is so woo. Oh, like this is, so what are I lived in my head, and I'm saying this, ladies, if you're listening, I used to say I was cut off at the neck because people would ask me, how do you feel?
I'm like. I don't know how I feel. Are you kidding? Like I, I was analytical always, you know, thinking of the next step and strategy was my, my jam and all of that. I had no idea how I felt in my body. Yeah. But once I started going there, that's when. Things started cracking open. Mm-hmm. So now you're coaching.
Mm-hmm. Okay. So you've left psychotherapy, you've made the decision, you have [00:19:00] the through line. You wanna help people live these lives that they love.
Hina Khan: Julie, can I say something about yes. Leaving psychotherapy? Because this may also help some of your listeners that are thinking about leaving something that their identity was wrapped up in and.
That they feel have a lot of benefits to stay in. Like for me, it was all that education I had done as well for my psychotherapy designation. So I personally, and I don't, I, I personally was not at that time ready to just say, okay, I'm done with psychotherapy, I'm now coaching. Right? So sometimes what was holding me back was I actually didn't know what it took.
Like, what does resigning from psychotherapy look like? Right? What does it mean? What am I allowed to do? What am I not allowed to do? And so sometimes we're living with these ideas and assumptions of what the exit might be like, but we haven't actually even asked. Or talked [00:20:00] about it with someone else that maybe has done an exit.
So when I just phoned the College of Mental Health Professionals, which we were under, and I found out, okay, you could either resign or you could go inactive, and if you go inactive, you cannot practice psychotherapy, but you could come back into it and it's a little bit easier. Right? 'cause you're kind of in the system still.
So that is what I did first, and I think I did that for like a year or two, right? And then I was like, who am I kidding? I have no desire to go back.
Julie Cober: But you had that kind of to fall back on if, because you are right? Like, I mean, you, you think you're gonna like coaching, but what if you didn't?
Hina Khan: Yeah. What? What if I didn't and then, and then it would be so much harder to get back in. So, but I didn't even know that that was an option, the inactive piece, right. Until I asked. So I'm going around with all these stories in my head about it and making a decision to not do something. Because of assumptions I'm making.
So for anybody that's thinking about it, you've like even just start [00:21:00] with finding out the facts about the situation.
Julie Cober: Right? Right, exactly. I'm hosting actually, uh, this Wednesday, the first time we've done this, we're calling it Ask Julie an executive round table, only eight seats. And these are, we did application only, and these are C-suite executive women who are considering leaving.
Come and ask me your top question. I would've paid money. Yes. When I was in turmoil about wanting to leave and how am I gonna do this? Oh my gosh, I have the bills to pay and all the things. If I could have gone to a free event and asked a woman who's done it well, like, so that's why I did it, because I thought to Hina's point, ask the question like, what does Tony Robbins say?
The quality of your life depends on the quality of your questions.
Hina Khan: Yeah, right.
Julie Cober: Ask the question now. Don't make up stories in your head.
Hina Khan: Yeah. I love that you're doing that, Julie. Oh my gosh. Those are eight lucky people to thank you. To be in the room with you and to have access and uh, you know, that's another thing that's always been important to me is proximity.
Mm-hmm. And I think [00:22:00] that. I mean, if I saw that Julie and, and you know, I was in that space, I would jump on it as well. Yeah. Because I think that you've gotta get into the rooms and that proximity and being with somebody that you can, that that's how you collapse time. Yes. Connecting with somebody like you that has done it, and then there are, there are so many things that you can share that allow me to jump a couple rungs, right?
Julie Cober: Yeah. I'm not gonna go, I call it the quicksand. I tell people I can help you not di dive into that quicksand like I did. Yeah, right, and, and there I have created these forums because I couldn't find them myself when I was going through this with somebody who has walked in my shoes. And lived my life.
Right. I think that's really important because there's a lot of noise on the online space and Right. I think that's one of the reasons why I was so attracted to your community as well, because that's what you and your CL community offer. Yeah. These are women who have done it. They have gone and. Taken risks and jumped into [00:23:00] quicksand and, you know, made leadership decisions by hiring Hina as a coach or coming to even your free events or whatever.
Right. That said, okay, I, I, I don't know how I'm gonna do this, but I'm gonna go figure this out. Yeah. So I would love you to share a little bit with the audience about. How you scaled. So you've, you now, you've put your psychotherapy certification on hold, which is amazing that you're even able to do that.
And now we're going, we're gonna start building this coaching business Hina Khan Worldwide. Yeah. Right. So what, what is that like? Like how do you start growing it? How do you start scaling it? Like, where do, because a lot of women are right there, right? Mm-hmm. They're like about to take this step and go, now what do I do?
Hina Khan: It, it's, it's a really a great question and I think for me, the, what attracted me to coaching was I felt that I could have a bigger impact and it also allowed me some flexibility in the way that I worked as [00:24:00] well, which I really appreciated and I was yearning for. So I was just feeling like I was called for something more with the same mission of helping people.
So the first place to scale, 'cause my psychotherapy was very much one-on-one. Right, and it was exchanging time for money. Mm-hmm. And so I really love the idea of doing group, and I love, I actually think group in many ways can just be, you know, depending where you are and what you're doing, it's so effective because like you said, you're seeing in real time.
People that have done what you wanna do or they are already where you wanna be, and you're able to see a bit of a process that you wouldn't be able to necessarily figure out on your own. So we started with group and I started not with a big team, and I've had various sizes of teams. Mm-hmm. But I started with a VA and it was interesting. I was, I was speaking to Eleanor Beaton about this as well. Another great coach.
Julie Cober: Oh yes. Love her. I love her. I just met her recently. We were on Instagram DMs, she's like, we must know people. The same people. I'm like, um, Hina Khan? Yeah. She's like, oh my God, I love Hina.
Hina Khan: Yes, yes.
So it's great 'cause she's. So she's very, very much strategy, right? And mechanics. And so she came to speak to the elite group, and I'll be speaking to her group about identity and mindset. But we were talking about like when do you hire and when do you start to bring people in to support you and at what stage and what is the right hire?
So I would say I really scaled Julie with a VA. A virtual assistant and some contractors. So I just say that because sometimes people are also scared or have fear around starting because they feel like they need a lot more Yes. Than they really do. Exactly, exactly. Part of that is because they also want other people sometimes to do the parts [00:26:00] that they're not really great at or they're not comfortable doing.
But in the beginning, that's part of how you learn what you love and actually learn more about your business and your customers and your clients is through doing a lot of different things. And also the way that you enjoy doing it. That's a rep representation of your brand as you're figuring it out before you pass it on for someone else to build.
So I just, the other day I had a client and she is starting. Her practice, her coaching practice that she was saying. So I'm gonna be launching in, you know, October, November and I'm gonna launch my Instagram and I said, that's great. Reach out to people now, like one-to-one. Yeah. Just people in your contacts, people you think you can help and enroll them in your vision.
Like not, not to sell them, but just to even let them know of this shift that you're making. So anybody that's listening, that's making a pivot or a [00:27:00] shift, start talking about it. Yeah. Start letting people know about what it is, what your next. Chapter looks like. And so she was waiting, and I think this is what we do sometimes.
Waiting for the Instagram to be up. Yeah. Or waiting for the website. And then I'm gonna start to tell people, because sometimes we feel insecure and we feel like, well, that will give me credibility.
Julie Cober: Right. Yeah. Or they think they, what I find with women is they think, well, I wouldn't be professional if I didn't have a website.
I'm like, yeah. Let me tell you something, honey. No one's buying from your website. I've been in five years. Not one sale has come from the will. They go check you out there. Sure, but you don't have to open up with a website. You don't, right. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't have to open up with Instagram.
Hina Khan: Yeah. You truly don't. It's, you know, depending on what business you're in. But in all businesses there's people. Yes. Whether it's a product or a service, there's people at the end of it. Right. Go out and start talking to [00:28:00] people.
Julie Cober: Yeah.
Hina Khan: Go out and meet people and share what you do. And the re and you'll build, you'll build the rest of it.
You'll get the website done. Yes. You'll get, that'll that done. Yeah. But I think the error that some people make is because they think that that will give them credibility. They wait. From an identity perspective, they're still not maybe feeling worthy or they're still feeling imposter syndrome and all of those things.
Now they've got this website, but still the sales or things aren't happening. Right.
Julie Cober: Or what will people think and Yeah, that's what I hear a lot of. Yeah. What will people think and, and it's busy work too, right? Yes. They're over here because you feel you have, it is productive, it's just not revenue generating.
Yes, exactly. Which is a, a big difference. They, they, you know, and yeah, the whole mindset around sales and, uh, it's, it's super interesting. But you're right. It's just you, you need to get, and I always tell, tell my clients, like, tell your warm market. Yes. Tell everybody in your warm I, you know, [00:29:00] group, communities, whatever, what you're doing.
My first year in business, like I started one-on-one and they were all, they were all former executives that I had worked with as a, as a head of hr. They're like, what? You're out coaching now? Okay. I'm hiring you. Like it was so easy. It was when the warm market kind of was done and, and yes, there's things you have to do to get into your cold market and all of that, but that's what, you know, you hire someone to help you set up and to he's point.
I think that's really good advice. You know, you're going to wear a lot of hats in the beginning that you might not have as an executive or, you know, you, you don't have the whole world to delegate stuff to, so we have to, that's part of the identity. Yeah. And so, but it's being really smart.
Hina Khan: That's part, part of the mindset shift, like you said, from employee to entrepreneur.
Julie Cober: Yes. As well. Yeah. I heard you say this somewhere, I can't even remember where, but I, it one of the, one of the many things that really stuck with me, I think you might've been on a podcast, you said to someone. The minute [00:30:00] I knew. I could delegate. I did. Yeah. So she did it herself. Yes. And then, you know, maybe brought on the VA or whatever.
But then now you know, Hina's got a really powerful team now and she's like, okay, time for this to go to Mario and this to go to this and this to go to this. So I can be in my zone of genius.
Hina Khan: Yes.
Julie Cober: So you do get there, right.
Hina Khan: You do, you do Absolutely. Get there. And you know, I love what you said, Julie, about when you built your business in, in the first year warm market.
Mm-hmm. So I launched a group coaching program in September. It was a September years ago. In August. I had 60 conversations with people, and 15 ended up in that first. Group launching the group, six zero conversations. Right.
Julie Cober: And then 15 and then purchase. So do the math ladies like that. That's a funnel she just described her funnel. Right. So you're always gonna have to have way more conversations than are who [00:31:00] who are gonna buy.
Hina Khan: Yeah, exactly. And be willing to, and be willing to do that. And I did the exact same thing. I went to my warm market. Yeah. And it was, it was. Having like human to human conversations.
Julie Cober: Exactly. It's so important.
Yeah. I mean, I always say social media is like your storefront. Yes. You're walking down a little street. Right. And you, so yes. You want it to be nice so people are in, uh, interested in perhaps coming into your store, but that's all that's doing. Yes. Yeah. So. You are on a mission to change lives and your work is helping people create a life that they love, but specifically with ease, joy, and fun.
And I wanna talk about this for a minute because one, I don't think there's a human on the planet that doesn't want that. I know I do, but I feel like society tells us it needs to be hard. Mm-hmm. And if it's not hard, maybe it's not worth it. And I know that one of the things [00:32:00] we talk a lot about here is rewriting the rules of success.
Oh God. How we've been taught as women to be successful. The hustle, the grind. Especially in corporate.
Hina Khan: Yeah.
Julie Cober: So I'd love to know if you're able to share, like what's the secret sauce for you?
Hina Khan: Yeah. Right.
Julie Cober: What's the secret sauce about making it easy and joyful and fun?
Hina Khan: Like you, Julie, coming from a culture of like hustle and grind.
And that was the predominant messaging in what it takes to work. And not only was it the predominant messaging, but it's celebrated. Yes. It's the one kind of -aholic that's celebrated, like a workaholic. It just like a badge of honor. It's like you're, you're really committed and purposeful. And so I didn't really realize until I started to think about it is that.
Oh, is there another way? Because you can certainly have what it is that you desire and create from that place, but it just wasn't what I wanted. And [00:33:00] I realized that, that if we just think of energies, that's a very much the masculine energy of the do, do, do. We wanted to be in balance and I wanted to be in balance, and that required more of the feminine energy of being.
And you wanna have both. I mean, like I said, I had 60 conversations, so it wasn't like I'm not doing anything. But the doing was coming from a different place. So the first thing is, can you accept that it can be easy, because sometimes we have a hard time accepting it. And then to your point. When you are able to create through ease, that can actually be confronting because sometimes we don't think we've then earned it.
Right, exactly. It wasn't hard. Gotta be hard enough. Yeah, it wasn't hard. We didn't struggle. So then we actually may receive things through ease, but it's hard to hold onto or to [00:34:00] keep, or to allow ourselves to have, because we actually don't feel like we earned it. Because we didn't struggle enough. Right.
Right. And so there's, it's like there's all of these little pieces that we've gotta kind of track along the way. So what I did for me was I made. The idea of ease be part of the narrative in all aspects. So even when I'm doing a task or we're about to do like the event on the weekend rise at the Ritz, it's like, okay, what would make this feel easy?
So that just becomes part of the question in what I'm doing. So I'm always thinking about ease. Mm-hmm. In creation.
Julie Cober: Mm. So what I'm hearing, yeah. Is you're setting an intention. Yes. Ahead of time. It's a decision you're designing. We're back to choice decision design versus default. She's sitting and designing and saying, okay, I want the, the intention of this event. I want it [00:35:00] to be easy. I want it to be joyful. I want it to be fun.
Hina Khan: Yeah.
Julie Cober: And then you make decisions like this is the other big important thing Hina just said. I wanna make sure everybody heard this, is she's, you make decisions from that.
Hina Khan: Yes.
Julie Cober: So she's designed the end state of this magical day that we had on Saturday because we did, and she designed that in her mind before it came to fruition.
Hina Khan: Yes, very much so. And then, and then the way I wanted to be through it, because I don't wanna be. Stressed, you know, getting short with the team. Like I, right. That's just, it's not, have we done this?
Julie Cober: Have we done that? Yeah. Where's this at? Right. It's no fun for anyone.
Hina Khan: I wanna trust my people. I want to, uh, I wanna focus on what I do best.
Let them do what they do best, and they do it far better than I do. Right? So it's best that I leave it in their hands. And so it is a, an intentional way of being. And then it's [00:36:00] also that. It's an identity. Yes. Also identifying, 'cause I used to identify with hustle grind in that badge of honor. So it's also identifying with creating with ease and being happy about that.
Like not feeling like I have to prove myself to anybody or show, tell someone how many hours I've worked or anything like that. Mm-hmm. In fact. Sometimes when people will see my schedule and it could just be like, there's a lot of great things that are happening and they'll be like, or before the event, oh, you must just be so busy, or afterwards you're gonna be really ex, you will be exhausted. And I, and I'm like, well, I'll be delightfully spent. Yeah, for sure.
Julie Cober: Yeah. I'm gonna recharge my batteries, but I'm good.
Hina Khan: Yeah. But I'm good. I'm good. And I'm not crazy busy before. Yeah. Because it's an intentional environment that I haven't created. I could be.
Julie Cober: Yes. Yes,
Hina Khan: I could be if I was getting into everything as well. Right. I could. I could be for sure.
Julie Cober: Hina just said something that's [00:37:00] really, really important. I think this is a, um, I would say in my, from my life, my past life. What she just said is one of the most important leadership traits you can have is they are far better at this than I am, so I'm going to let them do their job.
That is a innate leadership characteristic, my friend, and that that's what makes you successful. Like you're gonna run through teams, you're gonna have turnover, you're, and as an entrepreneur, we get it. You wanna be in there, it's your baby. You're building this thing, all the things, but. The best leaders that I've ever known in my entire life, the strongest mentors I've ever had have been.
They know that the, and so I think of CEOs that I work for, big Fortune 100 companies. I worked for seven CEOs. Two of them will be lifelong friends and mentors. Five were narcissists.
Hina Khan: Wow. Okay.
Julie Cober: So you can go either way as a CEO of what I learned in corporate. But those mentors, they [00:38:00] surrounded themself with people that were really good at what they did.
So they let us, as you know, chief HR officers or chief marketing officers sales, go and do our thing. 'cause they felt we were way better at it than they were. And not a lot of leaders have the courage or the identity or the backbone to do that. So I just share that because what Hina said is super important.
Like if you wanna be a leader and a really great leader, surround yourself with people that are way better at things than you are.
Hina Khan: Mm-hmm.
Julie Cober: Right? Whether it's sales or marketing or customer service or, and then as she said earlier, get into your zone of genius.
Hina Khan: Yeah. I love what Brittany Grace said at the event, the founder of Fancy Face, when she said, you know, hire for your weakness.
Julie Cober: Yes. Oh, that was so good. Same concept. Yeah, same concept. Yeah. When she said that. Okay. I wanna jump into your book. Oh, if you can, for a couple of questions. Yeah. So, Hina has written this new book, it's called A Return to You, A Journey to Self, and Your Greatest [00:39:00] Life. Okay. So I wanna say a couple things. So you can say like.
One of the things that I learned that Hina would probably agree with from Bob Proctor is we don't read books. We study.
Hina Khan: Yeah,
Julie Cober: right. So I went to Whistler, British Columbia, Canada for Hina's Magic in the mountains retreat. I brought this, I had just got it, oh, and I read it through in Whistler, but no highlighter, no sticky notes, nothing.
I just read it through. And then on the way back from Whistler, which is a whole other story we could get into, but I brought out the highlighter, right? 'cause so I, I read it through again and that's why I have all these things marked and it's all, you know, and then I'm now reading it a third time.
Hina Khan: Wow.
Julie Cober: This is a book. Anyone who's listening and you can see it if you're watching video, I believe if you're an entrepreneur, if you want change in your life, you wanna go to your next chapter. This needs to be on your bedside table and you need to study. 'cause there's some pretty, very big concepts in here, [00:40:00] which some of them we've been talking about.
So I'd love to read this one paragraph. Hina, if I could. It's right in the beginning. There's, these are the two that I'm sharing today are the two. I mean, there's so much in this book, don't get me wrong, but this paragraph and the other thing I'm gonna ask you about, were like, stop me in my tracks. So she says, this book is all about getting to know yourself.
When you get to know yourself, you become aware that there is no limit to what you can be, what you can do, and what you can have. You start to see that possibility and opportunity are all there is. And lack and limitation are created. Yeah. That paragraph. Yeah. Wow. It stopped me in my tracks. Okay. Why do you think so many of us have such a hard time believing in what's possible?
Hina? Mm-hmm. Like we, we kind of go there and then we go, oh, but that's not for me. Or, who do I think I am? Or, that's only possible for her. Well, [00:41:00] Julie has this, this, and this, so of course she could do it, but I could ne like, why do we do that to ourself? I would love your perspective on that.
Hina Khan: I think we're born into a construct, into the world generationally of not enough.
We don't have enough. So we are born into a construct where lack is talked about, limitations are talked about from a very early age, from a very early age. We've heard it from our. Families, our parents, they heard it from theirs. And that's why I love what you're doing, Julie, and what so many of our people that we know in common are doing is because you're changing generations.
You're changing paradigms, yes. For the next generation as well. So maybe they don't have to buy into so much lack and limitation, but that is created abundance truly is all there is. You know, money is energy and we can look outside. Like our world is so abundant, but we have been taught [00:42:00] that there isn't enough.
We've been taught that there's a certain amount and if you take some, then other people will not have. Right? Yes. 'cause you are taking from that pie, we're not taught about. There's more pies. Yeah. People will, there's more ingredients to make pies. And in fact, you know, you're showing others what's possible.
I just feel it's the construct that we were born into. It's not our fault, so we have to do a lot of unlearning.
Julie Cober: Right. It's like, so it's almost, it's conditioning. It's conditioning. Absolutely. I feel like when I think of my family, I feel like it was, um. It was like a protection mechanism. Yeah. Right. And I get that as a parent, we don't want our children to fail.
We don't want them to hurt in life. You know, there's the whole helicopter parent generation. Yeah. You know, but yeah, it takes courage to let a child fail, right? Yeah. Or let them learn a lesson a hard way or all of those things that so they can see what's [00:43:00] possible. 'cause I always love, like why we've gotten to a place in society where.
It's not okay to be first, second, or third. Right. We have to have participation ribbon so nobody feels bad because we have to learn through our through when things, I think we learn way more when things don't go well than when they do. Yeah. And this is coming from a woman who shot up a mountain. I was promoted to a C-suite position when I was 32.
Wow. Right. And I was seven months pregnant. I was about to go on mat leave and they gave me this huge promotion and all the things, so I didn't have a lot of failure. Yeah. Which we would describe right in the, so I feel like I'm making up for it now as an entrepreneur, but I'll tell you, I've learned a lot more in the last five years than I did 25 years prior to that.
So I just think that sometimes maybe it's protection or, I don't know, but I'm glad you said that. So it's in all of us, it's, it's what we've been born into.
Hina Khan: We've been born into a world where there's always a lot of talk of lack and limitation. Mm-hmm. [00:44:00] And not enough. And again, if you're gonna have it, somebody else won't have it.
So we have a lot of, then that carries guilt for us having ambition sometimes and desiring things because we think, well, does that make me a bad person? Am I someone that's not grateful? I should be grateful for what I have, right? Wanting something more or desiring more is bad. I don't wanna come across as greedy.
So we've got all of that that is happening as we are trying to think about things that we want and desire, and so. Yeah, we're focused. That's, that's why it is hard to go for things that we truly want because we don't wanna be a bad person or come across a certain way.
Julie Cober: Right. Right. And we, it's almost like what I always say to my clients is, you, you, we have comfort zones.
Right? Yeah. And you could be very comfortable in lacking limitation, especially if we've been, depending on your family and the conditioning you came out of. So when you actually start. Excelling and [00:45:00] like you said, having to receive that and, and keep it, it, it can feel very foreign.
Hina Khan: You know, sometimes we'll even say we're, we are very comfortable at times standing in sewage.
Julie Cober: Yeah. Oh yeah. You know? Oh yeah. Yeah. That's a good saying. And that's stand secondary gain again, right? Yes, exactly. Is the comfort zone. And also like I'll say to everyone too, like they've probably heard it, 'cause I say this all the time, but. Your ego's doing its job if you're in its com, in the comfort zone, right?
Its job is to keep you safe and alive. Your unconscious mind, your amygdala hack, your, your reptilian brain. It's like fight or flight. And so if you're now going into a new world where you're feeling stress and anxiety and and, and you don't know what to do and your next step, those are feelings that your body's feeling that are not comfortable.
Absolutely. So it's trying to pull you back to your comfort zone. Absolutely. Right. So there's that. There's that battle. But I wanna share too, this quote, you, you put in the [00:46:00] book, and I have never seen this quote and I've followed his work. This is a quote I always know. I don't know if I'm saying his name right.
Gabor Maté. Is that how you say his name? Yes. Yeah. Okay. The best gift you can give your children is your own happiness. One. The first time I read it, I was on the plane, two whistler sobbing because that's why I left corporate.
Hina Khan: Yeah.
Julie Cober: I had caused so much turmoil in my family just from like, you know, travel all the time and not home and working at the hockey games and, and you know, I, I was the, at one point, the only income and then the predominant income by choice.
Mm-hmm. My husband and I made that choice, but I knew my children nor was I or my children were happy. So it, again, it's just a, a part of the book that stopped me in my tracks. It took my breath away. But for all the people that are listening, 'cause I get, a lot of women ask me, Julie, is it too late? I feel like I've messed up my kids.
I'm like, [00:47:00] it's never too late. Never, never, never. But if they're feeling like it's too late, or how do I make this change? Or what do you say to them? Hina. That quote is so powerful. Oh my gosh,
Hina Khan: Julie, I remember when I heard it, I was in a room. I was, he was doing a presentation. We were at this event, and when he said that, just like you, it stopped me in my tracks and it changed everything for me.
It was like an emotional impact. Yeah, me too. Me too. It really was a defining moment where I was like, oh my gosh. Yes. Because you know, even my, myself and then just being in psychotherapy where you're learning about people and their families, you know what it's like if you, if you know what it's like to have parents that are not happy.
Yeah. You know, you'll have kids say, I would give up everything. To have a happy parent, a parent, that's content. I mean a parent, that's content. It changes the atmosphere in [00:48:00] the house. Totally. Or, and vice versa. And vice versa. So, so that really is when I started to make my wellbeing my top priority and know that everyone will benefit.
If I'm taking care of myself, including what lights me up and my happiness. So is it too late? No. And I don't, you know, whatever age you are because when you, you see time starts to take a, you know, Julie, you said at the beginning around the Whistler retreat that we did and, and saying, oh my gosh, I. Can't believe it was this year.
It felt like so long ago. And I get that because of the growth that happened. Yes, yes. Because of what happened during that time. It because we would think that kind of growth would take years. Yes. Because you feel like you're such a different person. Totally. So. It does not matter how old you are. You know, as you know, in our community, we've got people in their seventies.
Yes, I've worked with people, you know, Bob, my mentor, was working with [00:49:00] people and right up until his last breath when he was 87, my mentor now Steve Hardison 70 and just stopped seeing clients. So. If you are breathing and you are listening or watching this, that is your sign that it's not too late. Right.
It is not too late. It's not too late. And then time is different, especially when you're in your zone of genius and you're in that flow. I don't know about you 'cause I know we were talking about our ages 'cause we're similar in age. But I remember Bob would say this, you know, how old would you be if you forgot your biological age?
Julie Cober: Yes. My husband just sent that to our family text on the weekend.
Hina Khan: Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I mean, I don't know what, 55, well, it'll be 56 next month. I don't know what it it's supposed to be, but I don't feel it. And sometimes mm-hmm. Julie, there's groups that, like little groups that form and it's like. I dunno, what was it called?
It was like vintage women or like Yes. The search. Oh yes. [00:50:00] It's, it's for my, our age group. But I don't, I don't identify with that. No, me neither. Me neither. So I actually feel like, oh, but that's, although I'm in the age category. Yeah. I don't feel like that's for me.
Julie Cober: Right. That's an identity thing, everyone.
Yeah. So this is the other thing, like people in, uh, our work, like, it's very interesting for me now because I have a lot of friends from my corporate world and you know, university and all the things, and they're all getting ready to retire. Yeah. Oh, Jules, when are you gonna retire? I'm like, I'm not.
They're like, what do you mean you're not gonna retire? I'm like, I'm never stopping this work. And that's an identity shift for me. Five years ago. It would be like, when can I retire now? I can't see myself ever stopping helping these women in the world. Yeah. And so that's a, that's when you know, you've shifted identity wise.
Same with the age thing. I'm 58. I, I don't know. I, I, I, I looked at that text and I thought. I thought I, I should put 48, but I'm like, no, it's younger for me. [00:51:00] Yes. It's, I feel better now than I did in my forties. Yeah. We were joking on the weekend, like, wait, at our table, we were saying, wait till you get to, I was saying to the younger girls, wait till you get to your fifties, lady.
Like, you are gonna love it because you're unapologetic. Yes. Right. You don't care about the stuff you used to care about. And I wanted to say that because I love how every single time when I hear you explain your, your background and your company and you just did it this weekend and your work, you always explain and say, you know, the practicality of the work and the peak performance of the work, but you are unapologetically spiritual.
Hina Khan: Yeah.
Julie Cober: And. Obviously that's a huge part of your work. Right? And that's a huge part of change as far as I'm concerned too. So yeah. Tell us why that's so important to you.
Hina Khan: You know, it, it's true the laws, I guess the universal laws, right? Yeah. The universal laws, again, which I, I credit to Bob for really teaching me, and Bob would say that if you run a business and there's not a spiritual component, [00:52:00] you're like missing such a big piece.
That's what makes it easy. Yes. That's the part of creating with ease, huh? Because we don't force an apple to be created. We plant it. We do our part in it, right? And we let it be. Yeah, and we're not hustling to get the apple to grow, right? We just, we're doing the things, we're tending to it. And so it's working with the same laws of nature for the, for our own creations, and it's also valuing it.
I know sometimes people are like, oh, that's woo woo, and when they say that, it can sound like it's kind of being devalued. But it's science like it's science simply is. It's like, how does, how does, how does gravity, how nature. Gravity, right. We can't see gravity. Right? But we know the effects of it. We can't see our thoughts, but we know the effects of it.
Right? We know what happens when somebody is very [00:53:00] depressed. There's actions. You know, which might be staying in bed longer. Like there's a lot of things that we may not be able to see, but we know the effects of. And so unapologetically spiritual for me was I was just like, it's just part of my work and it's a part of who I am and it's not a religion.
No, it's it, and that's what I actually loved about Bob. It's like you'd go to his events and there were women wearing the hijab. There were Orthodox Jews. Yeah, there were devout Catholics. There were agnostics. Right. There were like, it was, there were people of, you know, different, um, that identified in different ways.
Different, yes, different preferences because the spirituality is universal. Yeah.
Julie Cober: You know? Exactly. Right. So I create all of that. Right. And is, was it Bob that said this? He might've been, 'cause I've worked with a few of his teachers. Yeah. That we [00:54:00] are a human body. Yeah. With the intellectual mind. Or no, we Is that it?
With the spirit? With the spirit, yeah. Like your mind, body, and spirit. So I don't know how I can think there's, there's not a spiritual component to this. Right? I know. I know.
Hina Khan: Like, it's like, you know, you just like, even our physical vessel, like you look at your hands and just Yeah. Our bodies and the planets like
Julie Cober: Everything. And I, I always this year, right? My little acorn. Yes. I love the little acorn analogy. Like this is pre-planned. This can only become an oak tree. That's right. It can't become an apple tree, a pineapple tree, a squirrel. It can only, but it's programmed to become an oak tree. Well, how is that? Like it's just gotta go in the soil and all that.
That's all part of universal laws, right. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I just find it so, so powerful. And again, 10 years ago I was like, I, well, I didn't, I never thought the universal laws were woo. I just didn't understand them. No. So I [00:55:00] spent a lot of time trying to understand 'em. And you're right, it has, it will change your life.
Hina Khan: It will. I think it just allow, I think because, well, for me it is, so it just, I was like, oh, this actually makes sense.
Julie Cober: Yeah. Yes. Now I get it. Like truth, right? It's truth within you.
Hina Khan: It felt expansive. Yes. To me, it felt lighter. It felt like I could exhale. Okay. So I don't have to, I don't have to know how.
Right, right. Like I, I've gotta do my part and then the way will be shown and I'll get, and I'll trust. And also like valuing my intuition, right? And my instincts, you know, that gut feeling, right? So, and that's the way that things can be, you can build, really create through ease, right? Is by harnessing the universal laws leading into it and studying it and understanding it.
Julie Cober: And as Hina just said, using your intuition, which is I think one of the superpowers we've been given by whatever you believe. Yes. God source the universe. There's no, there's no religion here, but that is a superpower. That's like, that's why they call it the sixth sense. [00:56:00] Exactly. Right. That that is a superpower we need to tap into.
So. Okay, my friend, this, I could talk to you for hours, right? Oh my God. It's like, what am I gonna ask her that it's not gonna be four hour interview, but congratulations on this book. It literally is a masterpiece. Thank Everybody needs to go and get this. Did I hear right that there's another one maybe on the on the horizon? You're writing your second book?
Hina Khan: Yep. Yep. We're in the midst of that.
Julie Cober: Okay, that's awesome. Any ETA or is it too early?
Hina Khan: Too early now but it is in the works.
Julie Cober: Yes. Awesome. Okay, so we'll be on the lookout for that. Yeah. And I, there's another retreat, right? Yes. I hear in this time, warmth. You're going to the warmth.
Hina Khan: We're going to the warmth. We're going to the Dominican Republic and I'm really looking forward to that in February.
Julie Cober: Awesome. Okay. Yeah. So how can anyone who you know, I know they're gonna wanna reach out and learn more about you, what's the best way to connect or find, find you?
Hina Khan: I find the best way is Instagram for me. Okay. I know, I know your folks may be more [00:57:00] LinkedIn.
Julie Cober: Yeah, it could be both. Could be both.
Hina Khan: It could be both. Yeah. Uh, and then the website is hinakhan.ca and Instagram is at coachwithhina.
Julie Cober: Okay, well we will make sure all of your handles are in our show notes. Thank so people can just go there too and, yeah.
Um, but at the very least, people, you've gotta get her book 'cause it's life changing. Thank you. All right my friend. Thank you so, so much.
Hina Khan: Thank you for having me.
Julie Cober: So appreciate you.
Julie Cober: Thank you so much for choosing to spend your time with us. I hope today's insights have empowered you and given you ideas and tools to start to rewrite your rules of success. If you love today's episode, please leave us a review and be sure to share it with a friend. And if you'd like to hear more from these trailblazing women, be sure to hit the subscribe button so you never miss out on another powerful episode.
Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn or Instagram for daily doses of motivation behind the scenes insight and to keep the conversation going. For additional resources and [00:58:00] strategies, visit juliecober.com and subscribe to my newsletter where you'll receive life-changing content delivered right to your inbox.
And always remember you have the ability to create any change you want in your life at any time. You are 100% worthy of living a life that you genuinely love, that's supported by work that you truly enjoy. Keep pushing the boundaries. Question your thoughts. Step into the elevated version of you, and until next time, always be asking yourself “According To Who?”.
According To Who?
